#161 Boost Your Teen’s Personal Narrative Before Applications with Dave Peterson Transcript

THIS IS AN AUTOMATED TRANSCRIPT… PLEASE FORGIVE THE TYPOS & GRAMMAR! xo-Lisa.

Lisa Marker Robbins 00:41

Are you worried your teen won’t stand out? The Secret might not be in piling on more activities or chasing perfect grades and test scores, but in something far more powerful their personal narrative, many parents and students focus solely on building impressive resumes, but today’s guest reveals why that approach often falls short. I’m excited to welcome Dave Peterson, founder of scholarship GPS, who helped his son secure $100,000 in scholarships by taking a completely different approach. Dave discovered success in admissions and scholarships isn’t just about listing achievements, it’s about crafting a compelling personal narrative that showcases your teens unique potential and future impact. In our conversation, we’ll unpack what a personal narrative really is and why it’s the missing piece for most students. Dave challenges common misconceptions about what scholarship and admissions committees are actually looking for revealing surprising truths about how academics, extracurriculars, volunteering, leadership and work experience factor into the equation. You’ll learn why these traditional pillars matter, but in ways that just might surprise you. If you’re ready to transform your team’s strategy and understand what will really make them stand out, this episode will be a game changer. I’m Lisa Marco Robbins, and I want to welcome you to College and Career Clarity a flourish coaching production. Let’s dive right in to a great conversation. You you. Dave Peterson, welcome back to the show, my friend. I cannot wait to do a deep dive on personal narratives with you. Well,

Dave Peterson 02:35

I’m excited as well. Thank you so much for having me back on the show. It’s such a pleasure and a privilege that you would allow me to come back. Wow,

Lisa Marker Robbins 02:43

we always have fun conversations, and we’re so aligned. It’s like we’re both working for very different outcomes to support students with very different outcomes. But the it’s amazing. It’s kind of like killing two birds with one stone overlap, and what we do, even though the desired outcome, in my case, college, major and career clarity is different than yours, winning scholarships and paying less for college. But yeah, I It’s fascinating to me. The process is I’ve gotten to know you, and I’ve always said to people, I can answer like the tip of the iceberg on anything about paying for college, and you do not. I’m dangerous, if you ask me too much. So I’m grateful for people like you.

Dave Peterson 03:28

Yeah, well, likewise. And the very first time I heard you on another podcast, I thought, Oh, I have to get in touch with Lisa. It’s been great getting to know you over the past year. So, oh, thank

Lisa Marker Robbins 03:40

you, my friend. So as we talk about personal narratives, I think we need to start by defining them. Because I would say the typical parent is, you know, they’re thinking about, how am I going to pay for college? They’re thinking about, where’s my kid gonna go? A, C, T, S, A, T, scores, all of those things about getting in. But you and I know that, like, they probably never even think of like, oh, and I wonder what my kids personal narrative is, and how that’s going to move the needle on what we really want, which is a little different for every family, but this is probably a surprising term or or probably surprising many of our listeners that they should even be thinking about this. So because you do such a deep dive on personal narratives, I want you to kind of tee it up, because you’ll, I know you’ll do a better job than I will. What it what is a student’s personal narrative?

Dave Peterson 04:40

Yeah, well, I mean, at a very high basic level, it is just the student story. So who is the student? What are their interests, their strengths, their abilities, and where are they going? What are they going to major in, in college? What are they going to do in their career, and how is the world going to be better? For that, and that’s, that’s just a very high level, basic overview of what the personal narrative is. Well,

Lisa Marker Robbins 05:07

it’s, you know, as adults who have worked, and I haven’t had a lot of bosses, because I started my first business over, you know, 26 years ago. But when you’re looking I think adults get like the I’m looking for a job, your resume, your cover letter, that is the working adult personal narrative. Yeah, I think that’s a great analogy. I mean, as you’re talking, I’m sitting here thinking like, Huh, okay, it’s I, I’ve been working with my soon to be son in law, my daughter’s fiance on a job career transition, with him supporting him, and putting all the things together, interview prep, all of that. And as you were just talking, I’m like, oh, it’s the same stuff that Nick and I, you know, are working on from a career perspective, yeah.

Dave Peterson 05:57

And it’s, that’s a great, you know analogy that that you’re making, because basically, when you’re applying for a scholarship, you’re applying for kind of a job. Now, you do the work up front in the application and the essay or the interview, and there’s no no work to be done or no salary. But to win that scholarship, you have to approach it as if you are applying for a job. And that means understanding what is the mission of this organization offering this scholarship, what is their reason, or what’s the benefit to them for giving this scholarship, understanding those things and then aligning your personal narrative to what they’re looking for. That’s that’s kind of the crux of how you can have success with scholarships.

Lisa Marker Robbins 06:38

I love that you, you know, said you’re basically applying for a job. They’re giving you a job, right? And they’re looking for a good ROI, you know, as a employer, hire someone. They want to hire someone who’s right fit, who have the skills and talents, who’s going to stay because it’s expensive to go through the hiring process. Colleges are hiring basically for you to be a student there. They want good outcomes. Same thing with the scholarship. So I think us just talking about how it’s similar to these other things, how helps you go like, Oh, well, if I’m going for if I as an adult, am going for a new job, that personal narrative is going to be critical. Yeah, in me, getting in the door, getting even, getting the interview, let alone getting the job. And so parents, those of you that are listening that work with teens, I know we’ve got a lot of counselors at schools and independent counselors that listen to us. You could talk to your teen about this in a way that is just like if I were applying for a job. I’m not asking you to do something crazy. I’m actually we’re working on something with you that you’re you’re gonna carry the skill forward, and you’re gonna use it many times over in your life now, particularly on scholarships. Why is this? Because I know in your course, in your scholarship GPS course, you do a very deep dive on personal narrative, like you help students craft their personal narrative, but you take the time to do so because you you’ve told me that they’re critical for scholarship success, and you see a lot of kids make huge mistakes in this area. Yeah, yep. So why is nailing the personal narrative your story critical for earning scholarships? How do they help support that end goal?

Dave Peterson 08:31

Well, I’m going to take it one step back, just very quick. I don’t want to rehash what we talked about the last time I was on the show, but just to set the stage for people who may not have heard that, basically there are three categories or buckets of scholarships. There’s need based aid, which most colleges are determining based on your FAFSA. I don’t really help with that. That’s not my my bag. There is merit aid, which is what colleges are giving students kind of based on their resume. It’s, I hate to say it, because this is not 100% true, but it’s basically kind of an award for what a student has done in the past. Now I’ll put it, I’ll put a caveat on that the third type, and this is where I work with with my students. For the most part, I may help with a few college merit aid scholarships that require their own application, but for the most part, I’m helping people with private outside scholarships, which is that third category, and this is really where that personal narrative is critical. So these scholarships, just like a job is looking for the right fit, they want to award a scholarship to somebody who matches this their organization’s mission and values, it’s going to be impossible for a student to be, to be a match if they don’t know what their college major and career is going to be. In other words, you can’t write a story about how great the world’s going to be when you achieve these things if you don’t even know what you want to achieve. So I mean that that really is. How important the personal narrative is. Now, are there some scholarships that are not asking about the student? Within that bucket of of private outside scholarships, there are? They are topically based, so you’re writing an essay or maybe making a video about a specific topic. One common one would be like safe driving. So if that’s a passion for your student, fantastic. Go down that, that rabbit hole. But safe driving, unless you’re going to be a driver ed teacher, is not really a career. So I mean, I guess you could be a specialist in safe driving scholarships and have some success. I wouldn’t be super exciting to me, but I guess it’s possible. But I think what is exciting for students is, is their personal narrative. What are they going to do? And that’s really Lisa, when I said earlier that when I first heard you, I said, we need to talk, because it just I knew this, but when I heard you, it really clicked with me, just how foundational This is. And you do a great job of emphasizing how this this personal narrative. This story of where the student’s going is critical, even for getting into college, but when I heard you, I was like, Oh, this is really critical to build that personal narrative. I knew the personal narrative was important, but it really hadn’t clicked until you and I connected just how critical that understanding that student’s future is, because scholarships are not the private scholarships we’re talking about are not awards for your past achievements. Those past achievements are only a demonstration that you are on track to achieve these future things that you’re talking about. So

Lisa Marker Robbins 11:34

hold on. I get we gotta repeat that. Yeah, right, because I think you know when our when our kiddos are preparing to or in the middle of doing college applications, there’s a lot of like, past information. Yeah, yep, right. It’s historical information. Even your teacher rec letters are like who you were in their classroom. Yeah. There are your your college major selection. If you write, why, why this major? A lot of colleges and I have passed, I’ll look up and I’ll put it in the show notes. I don’t know what number it is, but I have a past episode myself on how to write the why this major essay that a great number of colleges ask you to explain. Well, that the why this major leans into what have you done in the past to know that this is your path forward, and Part B of that is, what will you do with it in the future? There’s outside of like selecting the major and saying what you’re going to do in the future, or maybe some colleges ask about they have a community essay. So the community essay is very much a was a community that you belong to, but they’re also looking for how you’re going to add value on their campus. But applications to college are heavily skewed on the past data, past information, and what I just heard you say, which is like, I mean, my kids didn’t apply to tons of outside scholarships. My oldest got a full tuition scholarship from the university that he went to, and my we just didn’t apply for scholarships for my daughter. Now, I wish I would have, because even if you’ve I’m like, Oh, we saved the money. It’s fine. Could have spent that money on other stuff. Like, yeah, so. But what you just said, I trust your judgment on that, because you’ve looked at 1000s of scholarships to go like, this isn’t about what you did historically, it’s about their investing in you and what you’re going to do in the future. And I think that that’s probably surprising that some people hear you say that, because we’re so past oriented. When we’re filling out applications, it is. And

Dave Peterson 13:46

when I’m working with students and I’m reading their essays, especially when I just start working with them, that’s all they write about is I did this. I did that like, No, I don’t want to. I don’t want to give the impression that you can go through high school and get low grades, low SAT scores, and not be involved. That’s not what I’m saying at all. You’re not going to win scholarships that way. Those things that you’re doing in high school are just demonstrations of your interests and abilities to achieve these future things. So yes, in your personal narrative and your essays, you’re going to reference these past achievements. You have to but it can’t be that. Can’t be the focus. The focus is really on the future. Where am I going? What am I going to do, and how’s the world going to be better because of it? When I when I do consultations with people, I’ll use the example of I could write, I’m a I’m a decent writer. I could write an essay saying I want to be a doctor, and I could make it believable in the sense that I same seem really excited about becoming a doctor, but if you look at my resume, and this is that backward looking piece, I mean, I did okay in school, but you know, I wouldn’t say I was probably Doctor material. I’ve never been. Volunteered at a hospital. I’ve never done anything that would indicate that’s actually my my passion and my interest. So there is a balance between looking backward and looking forward, but the looking backward is only to demonstrate what’s coming ahead.

Lisa Marker Robbins 15:13

Can I? And I want to say something too. Is the other part of that that I was thinking about, and it’s interesting, I heard Rick Clark from Georgia Tech. He’s Director of Admissions down there, talk about like, even though they don’t admit directly to major, although they did make a huge change this year, and essentially they’re not calling computer science a direct admit major, but it basically is. Now I have if I’ll link to it, but on my resources page, we have a an explanation by looking at the applications and the Georgia Tech website about why it now is a direct admit major in practice, even though they’re not labeling it as such. But you know, he even says you have to list your intended major at Georgia Tech, and they’re going to look for evidence so that you are on the right track. So it’s going to be evidenced through classes that you’ve taken extracurriculars. So you just said there’s evidence. The other thing that came to mind when you were saying that is besides the evidence of your interest or passions or that you’ve done things to work hard to figure it out. Kids who’d go the extra miles on those things, that’s hard work. Like it’s, it’s about a, you know, your work ethic, your work style. So I would say that besides the fit, as far as, like, the value that you’re going to create your purpose in the world, when you can look at that and go, Oh, this kid didn’t go home and just watch Netflix or scroll on Tiktok. They’re actually what are you doing in your free time? Yeah, time is more I always say, some people disagree with me. Time’s more valuable than money. We can, we cannot get time back. We can go out and earn more money. And so it’s, what are you doing with your time? So to me, it’s also demonstrating like work your personal narrative will demonstrate your work ethic, how you spend your time. And they don’t want lazy people. They don’t want to invest their money in a lazy person. Yeah.

Dave Peterson 17:15

Yeah, absolutely. And you know that that forward looking piece. You know, the these scholarships that are coming from private organizations, whether it’s a philanthropic organization or a business, like you said earlier, they’re looking for an ROI on that investment. Now that’s not necessarily a monetary monetary ROI, but it’s, it’s a goodwill and a marketing ROI, because they want to sometime in the future, say, hey, we helped Bob earn his degree. We helped pay for it through our scholarship. And now Bob is doing this, and this is amazing. So those are the kinds of things that when you’re applying for scholarships, you need to think about. You know, what is the motivation for this organization to to even give you this money? Now, maybe somebody could pander, you know, and have a little bit of success, but I think to have long term and and a lot of success with scholarships, it needs to be genuine. And you know that that personal narrative is is going to shine through based on, like, what you said, what, how are you spending your time? Yeah, you

Lisa Marker Robbins 18:20

know, as you talk about that, it’s funny. It’s like, yes, it’s very generous of them to give these scholarships away, but there is a what’s in it for them. And what I hear you saying is, and I’m going to assume that you teach about this in your course, is being able to identify their why. So there’s a, there’s a PR or marketing side of it, for everybody that’s giving away money, it’s not just, you know, Good Will

Dave Peterson 18:46

there is. And if you think about it, if it was only just about raw PR, there would be no reason for them to ask you for an essay or a video or some kind of project. And that’s where there are some legit in that they give away money scholarships that don’t require an essay. But the the what’s in it for them is, is a little bit of of raw advertising dollar to say, hey, we give 1000 bucks every month, or whatever it is. And I do, I do feature those in my newsletter. I call them Weekender scholarships, you know, 30 seconds to apply. But they’re, I have vetted them in the in that they’re not only capturing your data, they’re definitely capturing your data, but they do award prizes, so in that way, they’re worth it. But for the scholarships that are asking you to write an essay like that’s that’s a big time commitment on that organization’s part, they they’re reading these essays. Trust me, they’re not. I talk to scholarship providers on a very regular basis, and well, here’s a stat that even as down to me, some of them reject 90% of applications just because the student can’t follow directions. So there’s like any even more basic tip for you is just follow the directions to at least give yourself a shot. But. It. You know, what’s interesting about

Lisa Marker Robbins 20:01

that? I’m going to insert this real quick. When I, as an employer of others, go to hire and I post a job, I put on the job application, you know, on the the job posting I put, send me an email your subject line must read this and then provide, you know, tell me, attach your resume and tell me X, Y and Z. That first step is, if you can’t even get the attention to detail right on the subject line, like you’re, we’re not gonna have long term success if you’re screwing that up on your first thing that I ever see from you, like, it’s, it’s not gonna work. And, you know, and I think this what you just said about, like, if 90% of applicants to scholarships are getting rejected because they simply didn’t follow directions, this is goes into the and we have a lot of podcast episodes on executive functioning, yeah, yep, attention to detail, soft skills that you need to have, not technical skills. And these are things that as you’re saying this, I’m like, gosh, even applying to scholarships. I’ve always said this about writing essays and applying to college, applying to scholarships helps build our students soft and executive skills while they’re still in our home. And hopefully there’s a monetary reward at the end of it, but there’s, it’s like killing two birds with one stone. Yeah,

Dave Peterson 21:30

exactly. And well, two things. First of all, it’s funny that you mentioned that you use that subject line in the emails as a bit of a filter. Scholarships do that too. I see plenty of scholarships that say, email your application in this format, whether it’s PDF or Word or whatever, and with this subject line in the email. And yeah, I mean, they probably just have a filter set up that if it doesn’t have that exact wording, it’s going in the trash. So, yeah, yeah, especially

Lisa Marker Robbins 21:57

in today’s AI world, right? Yes, you’ve got, I mean, they’re just getting screened. And so I could see, like, if I had a whole bunch of emails coming into my inbox, I can just set up a filter that says anything that has this subject line, put them in this folder if, and that’s what I’m going to look at. And if they don’t, then I’m not going to look at it.

Dave Peterson 22:15

Yeah, yeah. And then the other thing that’s interesting you brought up is the the whole realm of executive function. And again, as I got into this, beyond just working with my son over over the last several years, I realized that that was a strength that he had, that I soon found out and working with other students, that he that other students don’t, and that’s why I actually have a lesson about that that’s not provided by me. It’s provided by another person who that is her thing. She talks, she’s an executive function coach, and she provided a lesson, a bonus lesson in the course about that, and really the necessity as a foundation for for success with scholarships. I love that.

Lisa Marker Robbins 22:55

I love that you, you support your students who are seeking scholarships, and we should say you just mentioned your son and and we want everybody to after, not now, after we finish this episode, go back and listen to Dave’s first episode with us, which really was a deeper dive on the three types of scholarships and how to win them in the process. That’s episode 128, that you’ll find at flourish, coaching, co forward slash, one to eight. So that’s a great one, but I wanted to go deeper on, like the personal narrative and the other piece of this on this particular episode. But your son’s story was so it’s good to hear he’s I didn’t know that about his strong executive functioning, but just share with the families what his outcome was, yeah,

Dave Peterson 23:44

well, he, he just graduated college this past spring, got his degree, and we spent about $1,500 on that, that whole experience, yeah, that includes tuition, room, board, books, fees. He won enough in scholarships to cover everything for except for that 1500 bucks, which we only had to pay because he decided to graduate a little early, which meant taking one summer course, which we did not have a scholarship lined up that would have covered that. If he had stayed another year, we had scholarships lined up that would have covered it. He and I, we both felt that getting out early, yeah, 1500 bucks,

Lisa Marker Robbins 24:27

absolutely so as we’re like, coming into home plate on this conversation, which I know you and I could, we talked for nearly 40 minutes before we even got on, because we get going and we just have fun talking about this stuff. I know some listeners are like, You guys are weird, like this stuff. What are some of the misconceptions that? Are there any misconceptions or myths that you would like to correct for our listeners around this idea of personal narrative act? Academics, extracurriculars, leadership and how this fits in with the scholarship piece. Because, as we’ve already said, it’s a little bit different than getting into college any Yeah, tips and tricks or myth myth busting we need to do well,

Dave Peterson 25:15

I guess one would be, let me circle back to that question of merit scholarships from the colleges and the how I had to phrase that in a way that was not 100% correct, and I’ll try to correct that now. So yes, Merit awards from from the colleges do award kind of as a way to reward students for for their past achievements. Now we said that private scholarships really don’t, but the way that that’s really still not 100% true for colleges is that they still don’t want the student to rest on their laurels. It’s not like, it’s not like a strict award for these great achievements in the past. They’re still looking for future alumni who they can point to as noteworthy alumni of the College, and hopefully future donors to the college. That is the what’s in it for them, for the college. So if you think about that, and just switch it to the private, outside scholarships, very similar way to think about it. I think the other piece would be, as you look at the what I call the five pillars, academics, extracurriculars, volunteering, leadership and work and or employment experience. Students don’t need something in every one of those pillars. That’s it’s not a checklist. These are just ways that students can demonstrate their interest and abilities, particularly those that relate to their future college major and career. So don’t feel like if your student doesn’t have a job that they can’t win scholarships, that’s definitely not correct. But like you said, students that are just coming home after school and watching Netflix and playing video games or scrolling Tiktok, they’re probably not going to have a lot of success with scholarships as well. So there is a balance between everybody needs needs some downtime, but using, using the time outside of school for productive ways, especially ways that are building that that personal narrative are pretty critical.

Lisa Marker Robbins 27:10

I love it. Well, Dave, this has been amazing. So if you guys are listening to this and going, oh my gosh, so we could defray the cost of college, my kids going to learn how to apply to scholarships. And Dave gives other helpful information and areas of executive functioning and college majors and careers. He has a special link for us go to flourish coaching, co forward slash scholarship, GPS, so you help guide them as a GPS would towards that money. I know our listeners, who have told me that they’re in the course, are very pleased with how you set this up and tee it up. So it’s been super fun to have you on Dave. I appreciate it and and then we’ll put all your links in the show notes, where I know you’re on sub stack, and which is always still confusing to me, but I’ll get it figured out one day.

Speaker 1 28:09

It’s just a blogging platform. No, I overthink

Lisa Marker Robbins 28:13

it, yeah, yep, yep. And you’ve got a great newsletter as well as your own podcast, where you’re making families, even if they’re not working with you, you’re making them aware of what scholarships are available. You’re vetting these scholarships. I love that idea of the weekend or scholarship. It sounds like those are easy ones to apply to, maybe a good starting point for a lot of families. Yeah.

Dave Peterson 28:35

I mean, especially because, well, there’s, here’s another myth, yeah, people think you have to wait till senior year. No, you don’t. You can actually start in grade school, but let’s just say you have a young high schooler. Those Weekender scholarships are a great way to at least start working scholarships into your regular routine there. Don’t count on winning them, but yeah, no, well,

Lisa Marker Robbins 28:55

because they’re easy to apply to, so they’re going to have a lot more app, yeah, yeah,

Dave Peterson 28:58

exactly, exactly. But at least you’re at least you’re at least you’re getting an application out there. I tell the people I work with, an application is better than no application. A good application is better than an application. So it’s just a matter of degree. Yeah,

Lisa Marker Robbins 29:12

I love that, and I love the habit building. Yeah, I’ve just like, start early. So we talked more in that previous episode. Again. Episode 128, flourish, coaching, code.com, forward slash, 128, about, you know, the different types, how early you can start, and surprisingly, you can still be earning scholarships once you’re kiddos in college. Yeah, yeah. I mean about that over there as well,

Dave Peterson 29:37

that $1,500 would have been significantly more had my son not kept applying for scholarships through college? Yeah,

Lisa Marker Robbins 29:43

absolutely. Well, Dave, thank you, and we’ll have you on again soon. Thanks, Lisa, what a great conversation about the power of personal narratives. Dave. Dave’s approach shows us that standing out isn’t just about checking more boxes. It’s about your teen telling their unique story in a way that showcases them and resonates with others. Remember, your teen’s personal narrative isn’t just about what they’ve done, it’s about who they are and the impact they hope to make, not only now, but down the road in the future, as Dave shared understanding this difference could be the key to unlocking significant opportunities to put them on a positive path forward. Are you ready to support your team in crafting their personal narrative? Dave has prepared a special series of preview lessons only for our flourish coaching followers. One of these lessons is about nailing the personal narrative. Visit flourish coaching co.com forward slash narrative. To access this valuable resource, you’ll also find the link in our show notes, along with all the other key points and resources we discussed today. If today’s episode was helpful to you, please do me a big favor. Go share with a friend right now who might benefit from it, too. We are on a mission to help as many teens and young adults as possible. So when you follow rate and review the podcast, we can complete our mission. Okay, my friends, see you next week.