#239 Who Should Be on Your Teen’s College Planning Team? with Stephanie Simpson Transcript

THIS IS AN AUTOMATED TRANSCRIPT… PLEASE FORGIVE THE TYPOS & GRAMMAR! xo-Lisa.

Lisa Marker-Robbins  00:27

As your teen heads back to school, it’s easy to assume that the school counselor will guide every step of the college planning process. The reality is, it’s a little more complicated than that. Today, school counselors do incredible work, but many they’re responsible for hundreds and hundreds of students while also managing scheduling, academic planning, social emotional support, testing, and so much more. That leaves many families wondering whether their students getting all the support that they need. Today’s conversation is an important one. It’s for parents who are thoughtfully planning the college bound journey. Stephanie Simpson, CEO of the Independent Educational Consultants Association, helps us unpack what a private college counselor actually does, how their role differs from that school counselor at your teen’s high school, and why the strongest outcomes often happen when everyone works together as one team focused on the same young person. We’ll also discuss when families should consider adding outside support, common misconceptions about private college counseling, and why your teen’s self-awareness should remain at the center of every college-bound decision. Whether your student is just beginning high school or already applying to colleges this fall, this episode it’ll help you better understand who should be sitting at the table as you navigate this journey together. I’m Lisa Marker Robbins, and I want to welcome you to College and Career Clarity, a flourish coaching production. Let’s dive right into a great conversation, Stephanie Simpson, welcome to the show.

 

Stephanie Simpson  02:05

I am delighted to be here. Thank you for having me.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  02:07

Absolutely, it’s rare that we find a guest that actually lives in my same hometown. So it’s great to have a fellow Cincinnatian here.

 

Stephanie Simpson  02:16

Yes, yeah, love. We’ve been here with my family now for about eight years, and we love it.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  02:23

Well, I I’m so glad to have you. So, okay, we’re going to talk about creating a winning formula to support your teen, your college bound teen. It’s a really important topic because parents often say, “I with my career work, they’ll be like, I don’t know how to support them, and I don’t. I’m hearing it on the career side, but I think this carries through a lot of different areas. And so, as CEO of IECA, every listener right now probably went, “What? What’s that? So tell us before we kick this off, and everybody bear with us because this is an important part of a winning formula for your kiddo. Tell us what IECA is. Tell us what your organization is, what you do, and and then we’ll get into kind of the winning formula.

 

Stephanie Simpson  03:13

Absolutely, thank you for the opportunity because the number one question I get as CEO of IECA is, “What is an IEC? So it stands for independent educational consultant, and I know there’s a lot of acronyms in the education world, but I think each of those words is really important. So independent means that these counselors do not receive any compensation from a program, school, or university to place or recommend a student, so they really can provide that unbiased advice. Educational, so there are IECs who support students throughout the range of educational decision making in their lives, and also support them in a variety of ways, from everything like career exploration, like some of the work you do, to college admissions coaching, finding the right fit for their kid, as well as you know, therapeutic or K 12 school placements too, and then consultant. So this is someone that a family typically works with independently that they contract with to support their student, or sometimes they provide push in services to the local high school or school to supplement their counseling services, so that in a nutshell is what an independent educational consultant is essentially often a private college counselor in the context of our conversation today.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  04:31

Yeah, I mean, well, and I’ll say I just recorded with somebody from a highly highly selective university, and she is a mom, but of a middle schooler. And when I said IEC, she’s like, “What’s an IEC? So parents, even those at highly selective universities, don’t always know people working in the education, the higher ed space. They don’t even know what that acronym is, and what it stands for. So you are not alone in that, you know. It’s funny as you were describing that you did a great job, like on the independent part, right? So they’re not, they don’t have a an interest in furthering anybody but your child. What’s in the interest of your family and your child? I was thinking to myself, most of our listeners probably have a financial advisor, and they look for somebody who’s independent that can give good advice that’s specific for the outcomes that you want financially grounded in your values, and it’s a it’s like the same thing, right? Same concept.

 

Stephanie Simpson  05:35

Yeah, absolutely. I think that that independent piece is so important, and it we’ll talk about. I’m sure that this is part of a comprehensive team that supports your kiddo through this decision making process. But you know, the the school counselor does great work, but they also work with you know hundreds of students. They’ve got a really large caseload, so I think there’s a lot of value to finding a consultant who is just honed in on your kids’ individual needs, and you know the specific solutions that are going to work for them.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  06:06

Well, you know the the metaphor, the image I like to paint for families, and and we talked about this when we actually got to meet in person for coffee, which was delightful because I was like, when do we get to talk to people off Zoom anymore? So when we were having coffee. It’s like I have for my whole career, so 30 some years, said if we could imagine like a bicycle wheel with the kid in the middle and those spokes coming out, all the different ways that we support our teens and our emerging young adults, and think of the different spokes, right? So I I love to say like we desire to be a spoke that is helping with career design, discovery, development. Because if your kid’s ever going to stand on there in two feet outside of your house, goal of every parent, by the way, you want them to be happy and independent. They have to have a job that hopefully they love. That’s paying the bills, right? So we are one of those spokes. We desire to be one of those spokes. I would say every listener here has their their kid has at their high school. If if we’re talking to our teen population right now, or if they’re in college, you know they’ve got advisors, academic advisors. Everybody has access to a counselor, a school counselor, or maybe your school call has school counselors separate from college counselors. But everybody has a counselor. But that counselor is serving a lot of different needs. You know, I talk to those that are school based all the time. It’s like they’re doing the you know wellness, they’re doing mental health, they’re doing scheduling, they’re doing that. They’re part of the Ed Psych team. You know, giving kids who need support through 500 fours and IEPs, so they’ve got an overloaded plate and often a huge caseload. I don’t know the latest stat. Do you know like what is the average counselor to student ratio high school wise? Do you know? I know it’s in the hundreds.

 

Stephanie Simpson  08:16

Oh yeah, the last time I looked, it was in the high three hundreds.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  08:19

Yeah.

 

Stephanie Simpson  08:19

So yes, they have a lot, a lot on their plates. So to your point, I think all that we can do to supplement the work they’re doing as a team for that kiddo is is essential.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  08:30

So let’s talk about this. So I said it. I was like, it’s a when I was trying to explain it to the college based person, I was like, it’s a private college counselor meant to supplement the school counseling that they’re getting. So, speak to us about that.

 

Stephanie Simpson  08:51

Yeah, and I think your metaphor of the spokes is is a good one, and that spoke might be different for different kids. So, we have IECs who might really specialize in a particular type of study path, like STEM, or they might specialize in a certain type of university. So families have a lot of diverse options when they’re looking for an IEC as well. So it’s not a one size fits all approach whatsoever. And there are also some IECs who have you know small solo practices where they are you know have a defined caseload each year so that they know they can provide that type of individualized support. Others provide more virtual support for students. So there’s really a variety of options out there, and I really encourage families to do their homework and to fight the find the right IEC that fits for their students’ needs, but they will work as a team with that school counselor in terms of helping the kid put together their applications, finding the best fit school, and those IECs. I think one of the kind of magic sauce of it is that they spend a ton of time. I think our last survey. Indicated that over 60% of IAC’s time is spent researching universities, financial aid changes. So that a school-based counselor just doesn’t have that kind of time to actually be physically visiting universities to get a feel for the culture, to you know just know the breadth of the options available to students. So I think that that’s just a huge key component that you might not even realize as you’re evaluating IECs is just how much research that they’re putting into the the advice that they’re giving to students.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  10:30

You know what it makes me think of, and you and I when we had coffee, we were talking about your your previous position was with a middle school. I mean, I’ll I’ll butcher it. So you say what it was because it it’s going to relate to what I’m going to say. But I don’t want to butcher what you were doing. What was it? It was yeah.

 

Stephanie Simpson  10:49

I was the CEO of AMLE, which is the National Middle School Association. And you might think that there’s not a ton of overlap between middle school and career and college preparation, but there totally is. It really starts starts early, and even some IECs are starting to work with families in middle school because they’re making really impactful decisions for their future at an incredibly early age. What math class am I taking? What pathway am I enrolling in in high school? So they’re even supporting families much earlier on that end as well.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  11:19

And so when we were talking about that, I sorry, I knew you would say it way better than I would. What your role was, and it’s interesting. I as you’re saying that, I’m thinking about a friend of mine who lives in the Nashville area. She has a rising freshman, and I remember she was like, “We need to come up with a better school option for my son. Are there people that help with that. I’m like, there are. They are our IECs who specialize in that, right? But as we were talking, and you were talking about with the middle school association, this emphasis on integrating career, even as early as middle school, right? We were we were hit on some conversation around that. All of this, career awareness, the choice of school, even the choice of what IEC might make sense to add to your team to round out the support spokes for your family-it all begins with self-awareness. Like I didn’t even think about that when we met for coffee, but like as you were just saying this, and like everything I do is like start with self awareness. Know that what your needs are, what your expectations are, what your motivations are, what your values are, and then you know there’s cognitive strengths and some other stuff too. But like just that part of what of self awareness that we talk about when we talk about career design and discovery and all of that work, it’s rooted in who I am and where I want to go. You can’t make a good choice of an IEC unless you know have good deep self awareness, right?

 

Stephanie Simpson  12:57

And and so often we miss that step, or we start with the career inventory, or we and we haven’t given kids the opportunity to know themselves first, and that middle school is prime time for that work to begin because they are starting that self exploration. They’re starting to wonder who they are and what their place is in the world. So I commend you for the work that you’re doing to help us begin with that that values discussion, that self identity exploration that is just so important for the work ahead, and then we we spend a lot of time dispelling myths that IECs are there to get your kid into a college or to you know put their thumb on the scale. That’s absolutely not it. I think a great IEC helps a kid put their most authentic self forward in their application and to find that really great fit and it all starts like you said with with that career exploration and that identity exploration.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  13:49

It’s funny when you just said we had a a webinar that we did in late April and then in June we had a podcast episode with Susan Napa, and from Wow Writing Workshop, and you and I had discussed her before, but we talked about authenticity. And colleges say we want authenticity, but it gets misinterpreted. She supports writing college essays. She is not an IEC per se, but she’s a really a professional writer, and so she’s talking about like that is. I talk to the colleges like we are thinking authenticity. Oh, polished and perfect. No, they just really want to get to know you. So I love that you dispelled the myth of I should hire this person to get a specific college outcome instead of authentically what aligns for the family. I also hear from a lot of families if they have hired an IEC, a private college counselor, that they’re a little nervous to let their school counselor know, or maybe they. Shouldn’t because their school counselor would get upset. How do you guys support how that should work if we’re really building a healthy wheel?

 

Stephanie Simpson  15:10

Yeah, and a lot of IECs have fantastic relationships with their local high school counselors. They really intentionally. I know that you’ve done some of that work too to build relationships with the school-based counselors. So great IECs are doing that work already on your behalf. Families they are building those strong relationships so that again everybody’s working as those spokes of the wheel. But you should not be afraid to let your school counselor know. And it I think you can frame it very positively that you’re adding to the team that’s going to help support your student in getting the best outcomes, and that should be welcome to that school-based counselor. So if it’s not, then you need to have a a more thorough conversation about the value that the IEC is you know going to bring to the equation. But again, you need to do what’s best for your kiddo. You can’t you know not bring that team member into the equation just because it might ruffle the feathers of your school-based counselor. Obviously, you need to have your kid’s best interests at heart.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  16:10

I actually find that the best school-based counselors, college or school counselor, they’re the ones who don’t feel like their toes are being stepped on

 

Speaker 1  16:19

when

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  16:19

there’s when there’s you know they’re coming to us for career or they’ve got an IEC or maybe they even have an you know there’s a practice near over my part of Cincinnati where it’s an educational psychologist and they are private based even though there are educational psychologists in all the schools that it’s not stepping on toes, and so a really good school counselor welcomes the collaboration. Goes, oh, good, because now I’m not their backstop, time wise, for them to think I need to be all the things. I’m part of this healthy equation for their kid.

 

Stephanie Simpson  16:56

Healthy equation is the best way to put it. Absolutely, it is a truly a team based approach.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  17:02

So, if somebody hadn’t really conceptualized this idea of, oh, I might hire somebody privately to support us, do you have like an ideal time that you would suggest that families begin to if it’s if it’s really centered more on the college piece? I know you said like if it’s discerning what you know we might go to a private middle school or a boarding school like it might start earlier but if it’s really more on the traditional private college counseling piece is there you know your community your organization where are most people starting what at what age because I’m sure there’s a too early and a and a too late,

 

Stephanie Simpson  17:43

and I’m going to give you the most lawyerly answer ever that it depends. But most of our most of our members probably start working with students junior year, so they’ll start with some of that. They may even support a little career exploration in that. They might be doing some interest inventories to get to know the student and start to develop some of that college list so that they can have a really successful senior year in their applications. Although there are some that start working with students earlier, and there might be specific reasons that that’s a good fit for a kid. So that might be a neurodivergent kid that needs some executive function coaching along with this IEC work, so it really depends on the kid. And like I said, some IECs are starting to do this work earlier, so that they can support other decision making, like high school course selection or career exploration,

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  18:32

or even like honing your extracurriculars list. Or

 

Stephanie Simpson  18:35

exactly, we

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  18:36

find people ask me all the time, like, what’s the right time to start? I’m like I do not want to work with eighth and ninth graders on this like super intentionally because I think we just need to let them be like kids and start to find their way. But by sophomore year, what I find is if you start to get intentional, give it intention and attention by sophomore year. What I found is there’s more like ease and flow. Like as parents, we’re both parents. We don’t want to feel like we’re nagging our kids. And when we do create, we have that situation where we have to nag them about something. You know, there’s tension building instead of trust building in the parent-child relationship. And so for us on the career side, I’m like, gosh! If we can start sophomore year, which is what my utopian society that will never exist would do, there’s more ease and more relaxed exploration and validation instead of that busy junior year, hurry, hurry, hurry, hurry, and the kids overloaded, right?

 

Stephanie Simpson  19:38

And more time. So if the if you want to take advantage of summer programs or extracurricular opportunities to build that up before it’s time to put the application together, you just have time to to do that.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  19:50

Yeah. What so if if a family starts to hear this and go like, oh, this could be an important part of what we’re doing, what are some good questions? They should be asking, or do you have any resources to support their journey in finding who maybe the right IEC is for them?

 

Stephanie Simpson  20:08

Absolutely, and that is so important because we at IECA our members take an ethical oath that we take very seriously in terms of how they’re supporting families, how they’re ethically working with universities and with other vendors like test prep companies and and everybody that plays in this space. So highly recommend IECA online.com is our website and you can search for members of IECA. So these again are professionals that we have vetted through our membership process and also have attested to that ethical code, and then there’s also a great guide on there for questions that you ask to interview IECs to find that right fit for you. So everything from taking into account your students’ specific needs and how the IEC might be able to tailor their services around that, asking about what type of package is right for your family. So some IECs work hourly, whereas others do a comprehensive package. So you’re just set for the couple of years that you’ll be working with them. So lots of great questions that you should ask when you’re interviewing IECs.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  21:12

What’s a Do you know from your survey of your membership like what somebody would expect to pay for this?

 

Stephanie Simpson  21:19

Yeah, that’s again. I’ll say it depends. I

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  21:22

knew that was going to be the answer, but we can give some context.

 

Stephanie Simpson  21:26

Yeah, but there is there’s a wide range, and it also depends on the services that you’re engaging that IEC for. I think there’s this myth out there that that these IECs are charging 10s and 10s of 1000s, and even six figures to support families, and I think that’s just totally unnecessary. There are just phenomenal IECs that are working in ranges that are really affordable to families. And in fact, the majority of IEC clients these days are actually middle-class families. So it is very accessible now to the vast majority of families who want that kind of support for their kids. But again, maybe you’re paying for something super specific that does require a higher fee. So I I think just make sure that you’re getting a high value for what you’re the services that you’re actually an expertise that you’re asking out of that consultant. We have consultants who specialize in in very niche areas that do require very high levels of expertise. So you might expect to pay a little bit more for that type of support,

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  22:23

right? Well, I think there’s also something for everybody’s budget. I mean, even with our program, right? We have we have the group program that most people do, but we do have an elite track. So people who want a more of a one-on-one tailored experience, but obviously they’re going to pay more for that. So, but just knowing that it’s not out of reach from, to your point, the average middle class family,

 

Stephanie Simpson  22:46

that’s not sure, definitely not, and that’s a huge misconception that we’re working to to combat. Because again, even some, if you just need a little support with essays or just want to help build that list, there are a lot of IECs who will do that on an hourly basis or as part of a specific package?

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  23:04

I love it. So curating conversations at home around this, what advice? What any parting advice that you would leave with families who are considering how to best build the bench, the team to support their kiddo?

 

Stephanie Simpson  23:17

Well, I would just say, as a the parent of a 15 year old right now as well is that there are you’re living it yeah who is living it from the professional and personal points of view is that there are conversations that I have with my son where I see him roll his eyes or he’s not listening to me or he you know it’s it’s coming from it’s coming from parents so I I can kind of dismiss it whereas and I, I think that again is just a superpower of an IAC is that they can have some of those conversations for you and in support of you and with you with your kid about thinking about their future paths that they might be a little more keen to listen to. So I would say lean into that aspect of working with an IAC.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  23:58

Okay, this is great advice. Thank you, Stephanie, for shedding some light on what can feel very confusing for parents who their heart is just. I want to support my kid and and give them what they need. So we’ll point everybody in the direction of the website so they can get more information and make a good decision. So thanks for joining me. Yeah, thanks for the conversation. One thing I hope you take away from today’s conversation is that your student’s success doesn’t depend on finding one perfect expert. It comes from building the right team with a proactive approach. Your school counselor, teachers, mentors, career coaches, private college counselors, when appropriate, and most importantly, you as their parent, all play different roles. No one person is designed to do it all. If you’re considering a private counselor, I’ve linked the IEC searchable directory in the show notes, and I also want to add one thought that we touched on briefly-that I think it deserves a little. More attention. The strongest college decisions begin with self-awareness. Before worrying about where your students should apply, help them understand who they are, what motivates them, what environments will help them thrive, and where their interests and strengths intersect. Those answers they make every decision that follows much clearer. If today’s conversation helped you realize your family could benefit from becoming more intentional about your student’s direction before applications take over, that’s exactly why I created my free training for families. In it, I’ll walk you through the process I use to help families move from uncertainty to clarity, so their young person can make college and career decisions with confidence instead of guesswork. You’ll find it at flourishcoachingco.com/video, and I’ll put the link in today’s show notes. Thanks so much for listening. I’ll see you again next week.