#214 “You Can Be Anything”: Why This Advice Backfires with Your Young Person

Flourish Coaching

Feb 17, 2026

In this solo episode, Lisa Marker-Robbins challenges one of the most common and well-intentioned phrases adults use with young people about their future: “You can be anything.” Drawing on years of career coaching experience and thousands of Birkman personality assessment results, she explains why this advice often increases pressure, cognitive overload, and paralysis rather than building confidence and taking action.

Lisa reframes future planning around alignment, limits, and energy rather than limitless possibilities. The episode kicks off a multi-part series focused on replacing well-meaning but harmful advice with language that actually helps young people move forward.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

The gap between intention and impact in how adults talk about futures and possibilities
Why unlimited possibilities can undermine motivation instead of creating confidence
How personal limits and energy patterns influence decision-making and forward movement
What supportive conversations look like when the goal is clarity rather than certainty

Key Takeaways:

Telling young people “you can be anything” creates cognitive and emotional overload, increasing fear of making the wrong choice and often causing shutdown, avoidance, or disengagement rather than action.
Everyone has real cognitive limits and distinct energy patterns, and acknowledging what drains versus energizes someone helps remove ill-fitting options and creates clarity instead of failure.
Progress comes from aligning choices with personal wiring—using frameworks such as get-tos vs. have-tos, energy awareness, and past task preferences—rather than keeping every option on the table.
When adults model their own imperfect decision-making, mistakes, and ruled-out paths, they normalize informed choices and give young people permission to move forward without needing certainty.

“Progress begins to come from alignment, not this unlimited choice.”
– Lisa Marker-Robbins

Episode References:

Sample Birkman Report Available at: flourishcoachingco.com/birkman
Get the Flourish Weekly Newsletter: https://flourishcoachingco.com/newsletter

Get Lisa’s Free on-demand video: THE CAREER IDENTIFICATION COMPASS: How To Be Certain Your 15 To 25 Year Old is On The Right Path to Launch With Confidence–Not Confusion: flourishcoachingco.com/video