THIS IS AN AUTOMATED TRANSCRIPT… PLEASE FORGIVE THE TYPOS & GRAMMAR! xo-Lisa.

Lisa Marker Robbins 01:02

if you’ve ever wished you could get the inside scoop on what really matters in college admissions. Today’s episode is going to be a game changer. My guest has interviewed over 250 college admissions professionals with no plans to stop and he’s here to share the most important insights he’s learned. Dr John Durante isn’t just an experienced educator and high school principal at Syosset High School on Long Island. He’s also been in your shoes as a parent after helping his own daughters navigate the college journey, he was inspired to create the college admissions process podcast, and he’s just compiled all those amazing insights into a new book. If you’ve ever wondered about test optional policies, financial aid discussions, or what colleges are really looking for in applications, you’re in the right place, Dr Durante is going to share practical takeaways from his conversations with admissions officers, the kind of insider knowledge that can help you guide your team with confidence. I’m Lisa Marco Robbins, and I want to welcome you to College and Career Clarity a flourish coaching production. Let’s dive right in to a great conversation

Lisa Marker Robbins 02:19

with my now friend. John Durante, welcome back to the show. I’m so excited to have you back.

Dr. John Durante 02:27

It is an honor and pleasure. Lisa, thank you so much for having me back, and I again, have to congratulate you on the amazing work I’ve been following you, and you’re terrific. So again, thank you so much. Looking forward to this

Lisa Marker Robbins 02:38

one. Thank you. Well, I think you know what? I think we are both such fans of each other, because we both just have a heart to help families, right? It’s all about helping students and supporting their parents as well. And you know, originally, I know we talked about this when I had you on Episode 141 so listeners don’t go back right now, but you want to go back and listen to John’s other episode, which I’m sure you’ll want to after you hear all the great things that he has to share with us today. But when we had you on before, you told the story about how your podcast and I’m going to let you tell the story about your podcast and why you started. So I’m going to let you kind of tee up how you’re we’re going to talk about your book today and all the lessons that you learned in writing it and that you’re sharing with people. So your book, let’s start with that straight from the Admissions Office Insider strategies for college applications, was born out of your podcast. So I’m going to let you tee up kind of the story about how your podcast was born from the heart of a dad.

Dr. John Durante 03:40

Well, I appreciate that. And so as you may know, I’ve been at Syosset High School since 1994 I’ve been the principal of Sios at high school since 2010 so I’m an educator here in year number 31 and I absolutely love my school, my community. Ironically, what got me started on the podcast, which is called the college admissions process podcast was when I was actually helping my own daughters through the process. I have a daughter who’s 23 right now. She just graduated with her masters, and she’s actually a teacher of mathematics. And I have my younger daughter who’s currently a senior. And when I went through the process with my youngest daughter who had an IEP in high school, even though for many years, I had been helping parents through so many different things, not only the college process, but just education in general, in a secondary school, I felt for the first time the stresses, the anxiety that parents feel going through a process with a child who had an IEP was not your typical overachiever, high achieving academic student. And so the process was very stressful for us as a family, and ultimately, she’s doing great. She got into her first choice school, but going through it wasn’t easy. And so it was during a time, it was during COVID, where I started listening to podcasts myself. I came up with the idea. Wanted to create my own podcast, because many years ago, I used to DJ, but I thought if I do something, it really has to be something that’s going to add value to other people, that’s going to help people, that’s going to succeed, because approximately 80% of the podcast, by the way, Lisa, don’t succeed. Because, frankly, people realize quite quickly that it’s really a lot of work. So I thought, what if I interviewed admissions reps, because I had reached out as a parent to try to help my own daughter, and they were so amazing to me. And I thought, What if every episode was me talking to an admissions rep, where I would talk about their schools, what they offer academically, what they offer in terms of student life, but then give insights into their application review process. You say you test optional. What’s the percentage of students that are admitted that don’t submit test scores? What are the nuances between a personal statement and a supplemental essay, if you offer a supplemental essay, and so much more. And so immediately, so many of the reps wanted to come on, and the podcast was born. And then what happened was the audience grew, the people that wanted to come on. As guests grew, it became easier to get guests. And the book was really born out of the idea of, okay, you now interviewed over 250 admissions professionals. What are some of the lessons that you learned right to try to add additional value to students going through the process and their parents. And I just have to tell you, it’s it’s been a real joy. It really has. I love getting emails from parents from, frankly, all over the country. I love even when people in my own community stop to talk to me about it. And it really has been a lot of fun, because I know in the end, I’m helping people and adding value to this process, which, for many is truly so stressful.

Lisa Marker Robbins 06:47

I absolutely love the story, because I, like many, thought that you were doing this because you have been a high school principal for all these years, and I love the fact that you it was born out of the fact that you were stressed out, and now you want to make it easier for other people, in which, by the way, I think the last time we had you on, it was just over 200 schools that you had talked to. So you’re now over 250 and not stopping anytime soon before we get too far along, I do want to say we’re going to give away some copies of your book. You’ve been very sure within that, my pleasure. So our listeners after they finish listening to this episode, and we’ll put it the link in the show notes can go to flourish coaching, co.com, forward slash colleges, and we’re going to do a giveaway that we want to get them some books in their hands so they can get the details. But we’re going to kind of talk about these lessons learned from these admissions officers from the colleges themselves. You know, it’s funny when you said that you asked them these tough questions, and I think the toughest question, in my opinion, of what you just asked was, Well, you say you’re test optional, what percentage of the kids are admitted? Test optional? Do you feel like you’ve gotten a good take on what tops test optional actually means, is it true or is it not true? Is this, I know we were talking ahead of time. There’s some things that you discovered along the way where you’re like, oh, colleges and universities are actually more similar than we would think, and there’s some places where they’re wildly different. So what about test optional? Is this? Is there authenticity? There? Is this an area where they’re alike or really different from one another? There’s definitely

Dr. John Durante 08:44

authenticity there. If they say that they’re test optional, they truly are. And the vast majority of the colleges that I interview if, in fact, they’re reporting that they’re test optional, it’s probably about a 5050, split, generally speaking, right in terms of the percentage of students that submit tests and those who do not. One of the things that I learned after talking to so many reps is that there’s actually something called the common data set, and I mentioned that because if you search, for example, common data set for the University of Michigan, you’re going to come across a report where information related to demographics, population, male student, students, female students. You know other demographic information, percentage of students that were admitted, percentage of students that were admitted and actually accepted the opportunity to go to the University of Michigan, all of that, including the percentage of students that applied with tests and those that were admitted that, you know, did or did not submit their test scores. So all of that information is available on the common data set, including things like, because this is a question that I get from a lot of parents. Oh, my my child is. Wait listed. What are the chances? Well, many of the colleges and universities through their common data set, they actually indicate that information. So although it might seem like you know This is top secret information that I’m asking, in reality, it’s available if you know where to look. I just have a lot of fun doing it because I’m actually speaking to professionals from the admissions office. So it’s a lot of fun to put the podcast episodes together, but a lot of the information is also available through this thing called the common data set.

Lisa Marker Robbins 10:30

Well, and we should mention, you know, the common data set, there’s all those. It used to be books, physical books. Those do still exist. I hear there’s still bookstores out there, and that’s where your book is on the shelf, but this the colleges, if you are, like, the fist guide, or the Princeton Review Guide to Colleges Peterson, all of those guides are actually written by taking the information from the common data set. So So parents, we’re not just saying, like, oh, this, this data is out there somewhere. Like, it’s very useful. It’s used to write those publications. The stuff that you talk about on your podcast, which we’ll be linking to your podcast in the show notes, is all available out there. Actually, it was probably after the last time I had you on we shot a video. Steps 123, how to find the common data set. And so I will link to it in the show notes, but literally, I just looked at our resources page. It’s called demonstrated interest, how to find it on the common data set. And so that’ll get you into the common data set. In there, all those other numbers? Are there as well? Do you talk about, let’s talk about demonstrated interest for a second. Do you talk about demonstrated interest on the podcast? Was there any commonality that you found? And for listeners, that means that the student has done something to indicate to the college before they apply that they’re interested. I definitely talk

Dr. John Durante 12:01

about it. It’s a question that was very common, I would say in the first 200 episodes, if you will. I don’t ask it as often, because what I’ve learned is that whether a school says that they track demonstrated interest or not, the message to students is that you should do the things under the umbrella of demonstrated interest, regardless. What does that mean if you’re fortunate enough to visit campus, visit campus, if not participate in the many virtual events that each and every college or university offers, look at their philosophy, look at their mission statement. And I say all of this because and we’ll talk about the personal statement, but I want to speak specifically right now about how demonstrating your interest is really in line with writing a solid supplemental essay, because the personal statement is all about showing your personality to the admissions representative, but if they’re asking you to write a supplemental essay, usually the question is something like, why do you want to attend New York University, NYU? And by doing all of the things under demonstrating your interest, you’re going to be able to if you’ve done it well, to demonstrate your understanding of the institution when writing your supplemental essay. So that’s the nuance when you’re writing your supplemental essay. What you want to make sure you do is look at the philosophy and mission statement of the college or university when you visit. Was there a professor that you met? Was there something specific about their programs, about their facilities that really spoke to you. And if you’re able to talk about how you understand the institution, why you see yourself there, what have you done throughout high school to demonstrate your understanding of that institution? And you’re in the supplemental and then, yeah, even add what you plan on doing to contribute to whatever college or university you’re applying to if you’re able to do that. Lisa in a supplemental essay, I promise you that you’re going to give yourself a better chance, as opposed to someone who spends a lot of time on the personal statement, which is usually the same thing sent to every single school. Realize that, oh boy, this college is asking me for two supplementals. I’m going to just rush by it, because I spent so much time on the personal statement. And by the way, I’m going to take my personal my supplemental essay, and just use the same one for each college or university. That’s a huge mistake. The supplemental is so important because it is your opportunity to demonstrate your understanding of that school. And so going back to your question in terms of demonstrating interest whether or not the school tracks it or uses it in their application review process, do it anyway, because it will help you in the supplementals. And by the way, you know one. Last thing with demonstrating your interest. Schools that I would say are less competitive, they’re more likely to say, yes, we track it. Schools like, you know, Yale University, the University of Michigan, it doesn’t matter if you visit their schools twice. They don’t really use that in their application review process, because

Lisa Marker Robbins 15:20

they could fill the freshman class many times over. Yes, they can. And so it sounds like there’s not like a chapter in the book on demonstrated interest, and you don’t even really need to address it directly in all of your episodes now, because you’re kind of encompassing it as part of what you should do. You know, I previously had Sylvia Borgo. She’s an IEC out in California. Had her on the Podcast, episode 052, and we talked about demonstrated interest, what it is, how it can help guide your college search. We didn’t talk about how it makes you get into colleges, but we, I mean, she agrees with you. Sylvia was like, Okay, let’s talk about like, how it can guide your college search. And you’re saying, and if you do those things, it’s not only going to guide your search to your point, it’s going to guide and help you have a great application. Yes, so I’ll link to it in the show notes, or people can go to flourish coaching. Co.com forward, slash, 052, yeah. Listeners are getting the idea that you just put that number at the end, and it can get you to the podcast episode

Dr. John Durante 16:26

Absolutely. And you know, Lisa, you bring up another great point, which is finding fit. So if you’re demonstrating your interest in terms of visiting campus, looking at their website, engaging with the emails, it’s also going to help you determine whether or not that school is the right fit for you. And I say it all the time. There are over 4000 colleges and universities in the United States alone. There’s more than one school for every single student, but not every school is for every single student. So although I don’t typically ask the demonstrated interest question, it does come up when I ask questions specific to the supplemental essay, because the theme that comes up a lot is something that most people don’t do when we talk about supplemental essays, which is to look at the mission and philosophy of the School. Many times there’s a lot of great information there that will really give you insight in terms of what the school is about, and that will help you. You know, one example of that is NYU. NYU is very big on building their global brand. They have campuses throughout the world with Abby. Obviously, they’re in New York City, so I bet that if in your supplemental you’re able to demonstrate your understanding of that institution, and again, speak to what you’ve done in high school that is in line with that and why you want to be there and how you’re going to contribute. Listen, there’s no guarantees that anyone is going to get into any school necessarily, especially when they’re that competitive, but I do think it will absolutely, in fact, I know it will absolutely help you with the overall application. Well,

Lisa Marker Robbins 18:13

you you bring up, you know, NYU has this real global focus, so they are looking for globally minded students, which kind of brings up institutional priorities. So, you know, it’s every college wants a different type of student. They will go through periods or have specific initiatives. I remember years and years ago, University of Alabama was like, we want more students from the north. And they started being extremely generous. They hit the number that they wanted to hit, and they they’re still generous, but they pulled back greatly on those merit scholarships. It became more difficult to get the free tuition scholarship. Do you talk about institutional priorities, or is that kind of embedded in these conversations? And again, I’m gonna guess that instead of being a lot of similarity, this is one where there’s a lot of differences, would be my guess, like, what have you learned on that one? So

Dr. John Durante 19:18

that’s actually a question that I absolutely bring up in terms of institutional priorities. And usually what we talk about in terms of institutional priorities is, what Rick Clark from Georgia Tech, who’s been on the podcast multiple times, the number one institutional priority is, what is the size of your freshman class? So to give you an example, I think it was Villanova. They get close to 30,000 applications, and they’re trying to fill a freshman class of only 2000 students. Those numbers proportionally represent what a lot of schools are reporting whether they get 10,000 applications or over 100,000 applications. So I talk about that a lot in the more recent episode. Those because I want students to understand that there’s definitely a lot that you control. And I think the number one thing that you control, and we could break it down, is really putting together a solid marketing package, a solid application to each and every institution that you apply to. But then it’s important to understand that there’s a lot that you don’t control. So for example, if a school is getting 30,000 applications and they’re looking to accept a freshman class of 2000 they want 2000 students to actually enroll. And this comes up a lot in the podcast episodes, if you took the first 30% of the students that were rejected, or, you know, were put on a wait list, if you take the first 30% the reps report time and time again that that 30% their overall profile is really not that different than the students that were admitted, you know, in terms of their academics and maybe even their participation in activities. I interviewed Jeff selingo, who is an awesome author, journalist. He wrote the book, who gets in and why? And Jeff talked about the fact that a lot of people think that college admissions is all about the students, and it is, to a certain extent, but he made it clear, make no mistake, it really is about the institution and their priorities. So he talked about the fact that, you know, maybe the school is looking for a third baseman, maybe there’s a new major, and they’re looking for more students within that specific major. Maybe it’s geography. You know, if you look at Emory, I looked at Emory’s website recently, and they had a really nice thing. They had a map of the United States, and they gave the percentages of students that came from each corner. And I have to tell you, it was evenly distributed, showing clearly that one of their institutional priorities is to really have students, not only from the southeast, but from around the entire country and beyond. So yeah, there’s definitely a lot that you control, which I think has a lot to do with the way you prepare and then ultimately submit that application. But there’s a lot that’s out of your control. Sometimes a school like I said, needs an athlete. Maybe they want more artists, maybe they want someone who’s more into the humanitarian efforts. Maybe they want more students that demonstrate that they can pay the full bill. These are all possibilities, and part of the stress of the college application process is that, yes, institutional priorities are a real thing. They do change from year to year, and you don’t necessarily know what they are for each institution,

Lisa Marker Robbins 22:30

but they listen to your podcast talking about that, particularly on the more recent ones. I had Ali Belmont on Episode 123, of our show. So floors, coaching, CO, com, forward slash, 123, and we talked about, we did a deep dive for 30 minutes on institutional priorities, if anybody wants to go and listen to awesome that particular episode. But again, you know it’s like, I love how you put that about, like, what are the controllables? I was recently working with one of the students who had gone through my college major and career coaching course, who is out of school and had and he was sharing with me he had had an interview he was and didn’t get the job. He had gone through four interviews a job shadow, so he was feeling really positive, and he got to the end, and they’re like, we’re actually looking for someone with sales experience also. So we like all these other things about you, but from a job perspective. And I said to him, I’m like, here’s the thing that was out of your control. You cannot do anything about the fact that you’re 24 and you haven’t had sales experience. And guess what, they offered him an opportunity to a different job shadow in their company, and it looks, I mean, I’m like, you’ve done all their hoops. That’s really for them to know, that you actually know what you’re getting into if you want that other job. So it’s what are the controllables? Right? Right now, as you were sharing about how some colleges they really want, like, full pay students, right and that. So that’s another nuance of this whole thing. Were you able to get enough information about financial aid or full pay, all of the things with paying for college? Those are some of our most popular episodes. So I know it’s top of mind for parents. You know, what were your takeaways? Is there a chapter on the book on financial aid? What is what is that? What did you learn?

Dr. John Durante 24:31

So there’s a whole chapter on financial aid. And yes, you could write volumes on financial aid alone. What I’m learning is more about how some institutions are need blind, or they’re need aware. So if an institution is need blind, what that means is that as part of the overall application review, they are not looking at whether or not you can afford or what you can afford to pay for college in need aware situations, they do take that into account. Account. The thing that we talk about a lot with financial aid is, number one, it’s something that too many families neglect to talk about early in the process. So many people have reported that a student is accepted. They’re excited about, you know, the chance to go to whatever school it is only to find out that their family can’t afford it. So we can’t emphasize enough the importance of talking about financial aid often and early and being honest as a family. In fact, my last question is always to the representatives, what are your top three pieces of advice that you provide students and their families going through the college admissions process? And I can’t tell you how often, probably 95% of the times the financial conversation comes up as one of those three, always. So another thing that they suggest, and it comes up a lot in the podcast episodes, is something called the Net Price Calculator. Every school has to have one. Usually it’s found through their financial aid tab on their website, or you could, very simply search Emory University net price calculator. And what it is is it’s a tool where, if you’re honest in terms of your income and assets, it will provide you with a fairly accurate number in terms of what you’re expected to pay should you be accepted to the institution. And what I’m told is that it’s based on other people that have been there that have similar financial profiles as you do. So, speak about it early. Speak about it often using that price calculator. And regardless of how much money you make, fill out the FAFSA. It’s worth it. You know, it really is. You never know, fill out the FAFSA, which is another thing that has come up often in many of the podcast episodes.

Lisa Marker Robbins 26:46

I you know what. We talk about it a lot, and I have people who know far more about me than, far more than I do about paying for college and how financial aid works, and even how merit aid works, and all those things, I mean, college majors and careers, that’s my jam. So I have guests on that talk about that, and they all, there’s not one of the guests that I ever have talking about financial aid and scholarships and strategies I’m paying for college smartly that don’t say what you just said, like they all hands down, fill it out. Or if it’s a school that has a CSS Profile correct, fill them both out. If the school uses them, it’s so, so so important. Totally agree with that. So, so it’s, I mean, it’s nuanced. Start early. I one time had a University of Chicago professor at the Booth School of Business on the podcast, and it’s like, how is she your podcast guest? Because I heard her on another podcast talking about decision making, and this drives home what you said about having the conversation early is when we’re in a cold state. So it, you know, sophomore year we have a your kiddos a sophomore or the beginning of junior year, so they’re not falling in love completely, maybe with the school quite yet, they don’t have a final college list to establish the budget then, because the closer you get to April, March, February of that senior year, when you have to pull the trigger on enrolling, you’re moving into a hot state. So you start in a cold state, where it’s easy to be logical. And this woman researches on the intersection of psychology and economics and finance, and she’s amazing. And so she said, have the conversations in a cold state or a cool state, because by even second semester, junior year, you’re in a warm state. The closer you get to the pulling the trigger. I right now, I have a daughter getting she’s engaged. She’s congratulations. Thank you for June 26 and I established the budget knowing, knowing that the ring was probably going to be on her finger relatively soon. I established the budget with my husband for the wedding be while we were in a cold state, because as soon as the ring was on the finger, we were in a warm state. And then you start visiting venues and florists, and you’re you’re moving into a hot state. You don’t want to make an emotionally informed decision instead of an insightful, data informed decision. So,

Dr. John Durante 29:42

such great advice, such great advice. I really can’t tell you, like I said, it’s probably over 90% of the representatives that mentioned that, and I love what you talked about in terms of a coal state, you know, maybe I’ll have her on the episode. You know, on my podcast, I

Lisa Marker Robbins 29:58

have to, I even said. Here, going, I’m looking I’m googling it or Googling, I’m on my own website. Oh, it was Abby. Her name is, I think Abby. I’m looking it up. Yeah, it was episode 032, Abigail Sussman, professor at the University of Chicago, and it’s on this episode. We call it your college list financial fit, and she has nothing to do with our industry paying for college, but she’s really smart when it comes. So it’s a we’ll link to that one, but it’s episode 032, on our show. So I know, you know, we’re limited on time to talk about all the things, so we’re gonna give away five of your books, and we’re gonna tell people to go purchase your book and listen to your podcast. Keep listening. I love how you’re changing the questions that you’re asking as you learn more, and if things change, you’re like, Yeah, I talked about that a lot back then, but now I’ve realized now I can embed that into other questions. We don’t need to talk about it, but you talk about it in your book. I have a question as a dad, when you got all, you know, nervous and you were feeling all the feels, particularly when you had a daughter on an IEP, and you’re like, boom, this is tough. Now I know what all those parents at our high school are talking about because I’m feeling all those things too. You started reaching out to the colleges like, that’s one thing that you were not shy about. And I know this from our previous conversations. You weren’t shy. You’re like, you know what? I’m just going to start asking questions as we laugh it up. What advice do you have to the listener who, yes, they can, you know, they’re going to read your book, they’re going to listen to your episodes. But as you said, you’re not up to 4000 episodes yet, and there’s 4000 in the US. And so if they’re going to take a similar approach to the schools that they’re considering are and are on their list, do you have any advice for how to reach out. I’ve done some research on what makes an email get answered. But what insights do you have about engaging with the admissions officers?

Dr. John Durante 32:12

I think number one, you have to have the confidence to reach out and understand that it is totally okay. I wouldn’t have a podcast with well over 250 episodes where basically, each one is a college admissions rep willing to come and speak to me if, in fact, they weren’t there to help you. They are admissions representatives. If they could accept every single student, they report that they would absolutely want to, and based on the relationships that I have with them, I’m here to tell you that that is absolutely true. These are really good people that want to help so in terms of reaching out, like me, when I was going through it, I was very mindful not to reach out and ask a question, for example, that was easily found on that website. When I would reach out, I was very detailed in terms of what I was asking. I was not afraid to ask about a child with an IEP and perhaps with an average that was a little lower than, perhaps the mid 50% at the time. But also, again, asking the specific questions that you don’t just find very easily on a college’s website. And I think that that’s the difference. You know, if you’re going to reach out to ask what their mid 50% is, that’s really not a good reason to reach out. You know, if you want to speak specifically about your child, come up with questions that, again, are not garden variety, so that you could then have an open and honest conversation that I think will lead to helping you and your family make better informed decisions in terms of whether to apply or not. You know, and like I said, with over 4000 colleges and universities, there are many schools out there for each and every single student, but not every school is for every single student. So having those conversations, whether it’s at a college fair on campus if they’re visiting your child’s High School, talking to your child and prepping them in terms of what questions they can ask when they visit with the rep in their high school. I think it’s all very important, but very simply, make sure it’s not something that’s easily found. Show them that you did your research. Show them that you’re being mindful of their time. Show them that you know you’re really interested in the institution and you did your homework.

Lisa Marker Robbins 34:21

Yeah, when you ask questions that can’t be answered easily, they will always, I’ve never had a college not reply to me, and I email colleges every week myself. Mine’s usually about what college majors and you know, the career outcomes and things like that of the students, you know, for the stuff that’s in my lane as a college major and career coach, but I also just to say what my what my research found, is always ask at least one, but not more than three questions. So sometimes great advice, like I did, like a deep dive on this a long time ago, and it was like. If you ask more than three questions, you’re unlikely to get a response because you’ve overwhelmed them. And sometimes I’m like, Hmm, okay, I have seven questions I want to ask. What are my first three or my first two that I’m going to ask? And then I send a follow up email and ask my next two or three, but not more than three. And then they actually say to end your email with thank you in advance, or Thanks in advance, because it’s showing that you assume gratitude. A, they’re going to respond and B, you are grateful that they’re taking time for that. Yes. So yes, I put that together. I’ve got a handout. It actually gives people swipe copy of what they can that’s awesome tailor for themselves. So we’ve got that at floor, floors coaching co.com forward slash email. And it’s like, ask one to three questions. Say thanks in advance. And here’s some examples of emails you can send, but it’s, I think you’re right. Like, just don’t be shy, right? I hear all the time. I want to ask you about this too. I hear parents say, and this is more, maybe a parent question for you. I don’t want the college to know that my kid’s on an IEP or has a learning disability or needs extra time, so they’re afraid, even if they otherwise would normally have confidence to reach out and ask a question. As a wise consumer who’s getting ready to spend a lot of money, they’re afraid to reveal that their child’s on an IEP. Do you have any input on that?

Dr. John Durante 36:33

So a lot of people forget that sometimes the old fashioned phone still works, and so you don’t necessarily have it still works. Lisa, it does. And so, you know, one of the things that you can do, if you’re really concerned, is you can call the admissions office. You will have a human being there, and you can ask them, in general, without giving your child’s name, social security number and things like that. That is a possibility. That is a real possibility, just like if you have the opportunity to meet with a representative at a college fair, you don’t, you know, and I know a lot of times people want to scan in with the QR code, which is always a wonderful thing to do, so that you get more information from the college or university. But there are ways to ask the question without identifying who you are if you’re afraid. But the other thing that you have to understand is there’s no need to be afraid. And in fact, all colleges these days have something called the Office of Accessibility, or a similar name, because they have programs in place to help students that are diverse learners. Right? Whatever the situation may be like my own child. My own child had an IEP. I have no problem explaining that she had a learning disability, and thank heavens, she’s thriving, you know, after not having the best time academically in high school, you know, she just told me, actually, last year was her best academic year ever. Which, which, you know, which, which is, which is a home run for me and my family, you know, but I had no problem reaching out to reps and being very blunt about it, but that’s just my personality. But if you have a different personality where you are concerned, there are ways to call reach out without having to identify your specific child, your son or daughter, by name, and get the information, or look up Office of Accessibility or something similar. Each school has it, and there’s a wealth of information on their website, or call those offices specifically, and I guarantee you that they’ll talk to you without necessarily having you identify who the child is when they’re applying, what high school are they in, and things like that, they are there to help you. So if you’re fearful of giving your name, well, you could speak to someone at a college fair and not necessarily have to do that or call. And so there’s ways around that, right? But, but call. Don’t be afraid to ask the questions, because I always say every question that you don’t ask, the answer, frankly, is no, or you’re not going to find out any information, right? So you might as well ask the questions. And in the end, if it’s not the right fit, then it’s not the right fit. If your child is not equipped, if my child wasn’t equipped, for example, to go to the University of Michigan, then okay, you know, like I said, there’s 4000 other colleges and universities. So you just have to understand those things that you control and you don’t control.

Lisa Marker Robbins 39:25

Well, you want them at a university where they’re going to thrive and have an excellent outcome. And actually, quite frankly, the colleges want students on their campus who are going to thrive, correct, they’ll be able to meet their needs and they’ll have a excellent outcome, because it does not do anything for the colleges if students don’t finish correct.

Dr. John Durante 39:45

And we focus a lot on the colleges and what the colleges want and what the colleges are looking for. If a college didn’t want to accept my child because she had an IEP, I’m going to advise my child that. As much as she thinks she wants that institution that’s not the right fit for her, you know? And I think that that’s something that we have to understand is, you know, we talked a little bit about the the common data set, and how, yes, even in the rankings, they get a lot of the data from that document, those documents, if a school is consistently in the top 20, but that school is an airplane ride away from your house, and that school happens to be in a rural area, but you’ve come to the realization that you want to be within two hours of a driving distance from your school, because if there’s a birthday, for example, in the family, you want to know that you can get home fairly easily. And you don’t want to be in a rural environment. You want to be in an urban environment. You want to be in an urban environment. Guess what? I don’t care that that school is consistently in the top five. That’s not the right school for you. So I think that the stress in the college process is that too many of us want to be accepted in those schools where they have acceptance rates of 10% or less, and those schools are fabulous, and you should apply have a balanced list, right? You want your reach target and likely schools, but if we’re only applying to schools like that, you have to understand that even if you’re an A plus student, you’re the president of your class, and you have a perfect SAT score, those schools are reach schools for everyone, because the vast majority, right, and so if we understand those things, I think it’ll help reduce the stress. So again, not to say that you shouldn’t apply to the IVs to the competitive schools, but the importance of that balance list, you know, to help reduce the stress in the overall process, well, you are

Lisa Marker Robbins 41:40

helping people balance their list and make informed decisions every single week. So enter to win our contest to get one of John’s books, flourish, coaching, co com, forward, slash colleges and listen to his podcast and all the things you are a wealth of information. I know we’re going to be having you back on. John Durante, thank you again. Thank

Dr. John Durante 42:06

you, Lisa. You’re awesome. The work that you’re doing is terrific. You’re a true inspiration. And to everyone out there, good luck with the college search. Best wishes to everyone.

Lisa Marker Robbins 42:20

I hope this conversation with John Durante gave you valuable insights into what really matters in college admissions. His experience interviewing hundreds of admissions professionals has uncovered patterns and priorities that can help guide your family’s college bound journey. If you found this episode helpful, I’ve got an exciting opportunity for you enter our five book giveaway of Dr Durante, new book straight from the admissions office, before January 19, 2025 you can find this at flourish coaching co.com forward slash colleges, and if you just happen to be listening after January 19, while you can’t enter to win, you can still use that link to learn more about his book and how to get your copy. I’m Lisa Marco Robbins, and this is College and Career Clarity a flourish coaching production until next time, remember that with the right information and support, you can help your busy teen find their path to a fulfilling future. Hey,