#218 How to Protect Your Kids’ Digital Wellbeing in the AI Age with Dr. Sajita Setia Transcript

THIS IS AN AUTOMATED TRANSCRIPT… PLEASE FORGIVE THE TYPOS & GRAMMAR! xo-Lisa.

Lisa Marker-Robbins  00:52

you’ve ever watched your child disappear behind a screen and wondered, Is this normal or is this quietly changing who they’re becoming, this conversation is going to hit home. We’re living the digital ecosystem that’s always on, and now AI is ramping up the volume. The hard part is that screens can absolutely help with learning, connection and productivity, but they can also wreck sleep, fuel anxiety, shrink attention spans and make real world relationships feel harder than they should for all of us. Dr Sajida Setia is a physician and digital well being researcher who has spent years translating the science into practical harm reduction for families. In our conversation, she explains what digital well being actually means, why it matters for mental health and focus and the signs that the screen might be becoming a problem. We also talk about AI use what not to share, and how to help a teen or young adult protect their sleep without triggering World War Three at home. That struggle is real, right? And by the goal is not perfection for any of us, the goal instead is better tools and better habits that support a confident launch of your young person. I’m Lisa Marker-Robbins, and I want to welcome you to College and Career Clarity, if flourish, coaching production, let’s dive right into a great conversation. You Hi, Sajita, welcome to the show. My first guest from New Zealand.

 

Dr. Sajita Setia  02:28

Thank you so much, Lisa. It’s a pleasure and happy to be the first guest.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  02:33

It’s exciting. So Well, I’m really excited to have you here, because I you know, as a career coach, we’re always leveraging online connections and looking at job postings, and we utilize AI in my community with my launch Career Clarity, families. But as you mentioned, that can be a problem. Tell us about I know in the last five years you’ve you’ve worked on refocusing. I guess your research and your work tell us a little bit about your professional background, besides the fact that we know that you’re a mom of a pre teen and a teen as well. Absolutely.

 

Dr. Sajita Setia  03:14

So I’m a physician and a digital well being researcher. I have been a physician for almost 20 years, and I have devoted the last five years to digital well being research. My work was also picked up by Wall Street Journal early this year, and also several international podcasts. I’m also an advisor to a global digital well being organization that is based in the UK. Currently, I have just founded another organization here in New Zealand. It’s called Digital well being international, and we are just about to start workshops for children as well as parents, on digital well being for pre teens and teens. And I also hope to work with my international collaborators sometime very soon, to roll out similar programs under their mentorship for digital well being.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  04:07

So I love congratulations. First of all, for landing in Wall Street Journal. It’s going to be huge for your career in getting out this digital well being. I love what you just said about digital well being. It’s not like, Oh, get rid of it. It to me when I hear that term, it’s not like, oh, let’s get rid of all the digital things. And you know, in our devices and everything, mine’s on airplane mode right now, but it’s how can, how can we be well, when we’re using it? I know that you’ve said it, and you had said to me earlier that we’re really in the largest unintended human experiment in history, and now we’ve even up leveled it intensified it by AI, Can Can you tell me, like, What do you mean by that when you say we’re in this unintended human experiment?

 

Dr. Sajita Setia  04:54

Yeah, so I’m sure most parents and educators can relate to this. Children ask. Spending a crazy amount of time on screens for various purpose that also includes learning and leisure. Yet most young people have never taught how to use technology in ways that protects their emotional and brain health at the same time helps them to boost efficiency and productivity and maintain family harmony. So digital well being basically means how we use technology in a way that strengthens and protects our mental and physical well being. So the conventional definition of well being has unfortunately not been updated to include digital well being, and that’s why I am trying to advocate for digital well being, because based on our research, especially with young people, we found that it is the foundation of both mental and physical well being. So our work basically evolves around evidence based harm reduction, less shame, more tools to reduce the temptation to doom scroll, protect sleep and rebuild real world belonging.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  06:12

And I imagine as we get deeper into this conversation, you’re going to have tips that probably we as adults need to be paying attention to as well for our own well being. I had mentioned to you before we hit record. I just returned from an international vacation, and when we landed in the country, I had not yet turned on my my international data plan, and the number of times when my husband and I were just walking around the city and then going to dinner that I reached for my phone to say, well, let me look that up, or let me ask so and so. And I couldn’t, because I hadn’t turned it on yet. And you know, it’s $10 a day. It’s not that the money was an issue. But all of a sudden I looked at him, I’m like, Oh, this could be a problem. Like, I have reached for my phone a crazy number of times. So I actually listeners. I made it an entire week without turning on my data, and I it felt great. Honestly, it felt really good.

 

Dr. Sajita Setia  07:15

I’m so thrilled to know that. So what you just described is a typical scenario one would apply digital detox. Now, digital detox is a very subjective terminology, I agree, and they are skeptics who would say it’s not possible in today’s world, which is entirely digital world, yes, but the definition of digital detox is temporary cessation or interruption with technology, and that’s what you did. And temporary could vary from 20 minutes to 24 hours to a week. It’s also it also varies from technology to technology. So for example, we need to use technology in a way that strengthens our work relationships and peace of mind. So when I take breaks with my family, or I go on walks with my dog, I leave my phone. Sometimes it’s for several hours if I have gone hiking, but I take my smart watch, and smart watch has no apps. It’s just for calling, just for emergency purpose. I need to be around in case my children need me, so it’s also digital detox. For me, I’m using technology for its actual purpose, to stay connected through calls, but I’m not using for Doom scrolling because there’s no temptation. I don’t have my phone with me. I’m not worried if somebody puts a comment for me on social media, and it doesn’t distract me. So I can have my own peace of mind. Sometimes I listen to podcasts, but lately I realized that if my phone is with me, it I end up also checking my emails. So I avoid it, because it’s not really digital detox, but again, it’s, it’s varies from individual to individual. There’s no strict definition, and we just have to try it. You’re going to love it so much as adults as well as children. Of course, adults generally need to initiate to convince the children, but children will love it.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  09:13

So I was just gonna say, I love that. You we both now have said, like, I can struggle with this. Like, you’re like, Well, I use the excuse of, I’m going to listen to a podcast while I take my walk, but then the temptation is so great. So, you know, I’m a huge advocate for us being honest with kids about when we’re scared, when we fail, when we have to do something courageous, what our feelings and our struggles are as an adult, because sometimes I think we’re presenting such a, I don’t know, such a persona, that we’ve got it all together, because we feel like we’re the adult and we should have it together. And I actually think that can create. More harm than good. So I would encourage parents that, you know, try these things themselves and talk about their own struggles. So I have a question. You said digital can be defined in different ways. So what are all the devices, I guess, that you would put in the digital category?

 

Dr. Sajita Setia  10:20

So now the new term used by American Academy of Pediatrics, updated policy statement that came out January 2026 very recently, just few weeks back, they use the word digital ecosystem. Now, digital ecosystem includes everything. It includes all kinds of devices, technologies, softwares, apps. It also includes AI. Anything to do with digital is digital ecosystem because it’s hard to differentiate. It’s not just that phones are always misused by young people. They also use their school laptops for gaming if they don’t have access to phones. So everything comes in under digital ecosystem. Unfortunately, the policy doesn’t give any recommendations about AI, because it’s still new emerging. We are worried at the same time excited, but again, I believe we need to start right now. We have learned so much from social media and how it affected our lives and our children’s life. If we are not prepared and ready with AI, the impact would be way, way deeper and way faster than we witnessed with social media.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  11:36

Okay, not to put you on the spot. Well, I’m glad to hear that they the policy was updated in just in 2026 so that’s encouraging that they’re staying up to date. So if you were in charge of the American Academy of Pediatrics, so what would you what would your AI recommendation be? Because you’ve been researching this, really? I mean, you’ve been very focused on this for the last five years, right? No, and I hear you saying, like, let’s not wait to include AI in this. What would? What would? How would you update the policy to include AI if you are all powerful over the American Academy of Pediatrics,

 

Dr. Sajita Setia  12:21

first for parents and children, I would say, avoid sharing any personal details vulnerabilities on social media or even with AI. So AI doesn’t need our secrets. It needs our patterns, and it relies on prediction. Social media encourage everybody to over share, and we are into that mindset now, over share about our children, their behavior issues, their medical problems, their vulnerabilities, even their photos. You know, we generally parents don’t hesitate. So it’s called Share, renting, sharing on behalf of your children, because they can’t consent, children cannot consent, and now we are even discussing about medical legal or other legal obligations. What if our children after they are adults and they are not happy with what the parents posted, and the photos have been misused. It’s very easy to misuse. So can they sue their parents? So I know that parents share because many times they feel proud and they feel belonging in their community. But social media is not foolproof at the stage with AI or any platform, and I have started a Digital Check and QC for all my previous posts, I’m deleting anything related to my children. Sometimes I have to dig up, but I think it’s worth it sit with your children and encourage the same to young adults and teenagers, because they tend to overshare. They overshare about their relationship drama, they overshare about their party culture. So ask your children before they post. Reflect, if this post was put on school notice board, will I be comfortable and confident, and if this post is picked up by a future university admissions officer or employer. Will I be able to share more details about this post? So two questions are for the children, especially teenagers, and encourage them to share as little as possible, especially anything related to their identifying information, school uniform, you know, their pictures in school uniform, addresses, travel plans. So online exploitation and manipulation is also getting common with AI. So we need to be prepared. I would say, take a step back. Learn from social media. Do the opposite. Social media encourage over sharing, but now with AI, we have to share as little as possible.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  15:08

So So you would suggest, when we’re using chat, GPT or Claude or in any of the AI models, that we would not give it a lot of our personal details, just the information on maybe what we need assistance with,

 

Dr. Sajita Setia  15:25

absolutely so first check your settings. It should not be that the AI is using this data for their own learning and upgrade. It should not be using but even if it’s not ticked, I would still highly recommend parents and children to be very careful. Never give any identify viable information. I know people are just putting their photos on AI and generating AI images, cartoon images, and putting it everywhere. I believe it’s a big risk at this stage. Those pictures have everything, your hobbies, your occupation. We don’t need these details to be given to AI safety features and privacy details can never be 100% reliable. This is always my concern with giving your personal details, and especially emotional dependency is real with AI. AI is a yes man meant to please, you. It’s meant to please and children love it. You know, that’s why teenagers love AI. It’s somebody finally agreed that who agrees to them understands their concerns. Be careful. Your children should not become emotionally dependent on AI. Yes, they are using AI for school and learning, and it’s a great tool. I even, well,

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  16:42

that’s what I actually that’s I want to kind of transition over to that. So there’s the cautionary piece, and then the there’s the reality of the world that we’re living in, and the fact that AI and our devices can be very helpful, not only in our life, you know, our personal life, our life out in the wild, but like in our academics, in our you know, as a career development coach and learning about careers in building a network, I mean, you and I, of course, had to Meet digitally. You’re in New Zealand, I’m in Ohio, so there is an upside to this, and we’re going to have to use it. So where do you see it being AI and digital devices being helpful

 

Dr. Sajita Setia  17:35

for idea generation, for verification, we still need to use conventional mode. So I never rely on AI generated information 100% I always cross check I’m really familiar with Google, and I know the Google keywords how to find information. I never rely on Gemini, especially for research based work. But I take ideas like I take ideas from all AI sources. I even have different models. I use, you know, different chat, GPT, I use copilot and Claude, and I keep changing because they all have their strengths. And I never give any personal information, and I just use it for idea generation. And it’s great. Not all ideas are great. You know, we still need to use our critical thinking, but sometimes we can. It helps us to think beyond what our mind is capable of, and then we can use those ideas to generate real peace. But it’s not difficult to spot AI generated content. So never rely on content, because if you just produce AI generated. It’s robotic. Everybody’s doing it. We need to be way ahead of that. So use your own critical thinking, your own skill set. I don’t think AI can do everything for you. You still need some baseline background knowledge. So read before you generate. I wouldn’t go to AI for learning. I know many people do, but first I will just read. I do not I would use that.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  19:08

Yeah, I you know, the approach that we’ve been taking with those in our community, and that I take with work is I treat it as my co thinker, so I don’t allow it to think for me first. I think first, I produce first, then I input and ask for what else? What might I be missing here? What else would you like to know from me? Do you see any holes in what I’m doing? And it still really makes mistakes. So okay, so as we’re talking about this, and if our parents are listening, or people who are working with young people, or even a young person’s listening. We’ve heard, you know, the cautionary we recognize that even for us as adults, it can be difficult to detox. We have the the ways that we use it. I use it, I use devices, and I use Google and I use chat, GPT. See all the time. What would be some of the symptoms that you see in your research with that would indicate we have a problem right beyond just like a serious problem. We’ve got the idea here that okay, you or I go out for a hike, a walk, and we put our ear like, that’s okay. Maybe we’re doing that too much and we just need to be in the quiet. But what are some symptoms that parents could look like, look at to know, like, Okay, this has gone beyond just a little bit of a dependence, but we’ve actually got a problem here.

 

Dr. Sajita Setia  20:34

So currently, the guidelines don’t really give a checklist. So I we developed some, you know, based on resources, there are some recommendations, and I would recommend all parents to ask these five questions from the digital balance activity checklist. First question is, or even for yourself, but ask for yourself and for your children, like for children, you could ask, Is my child physically active and getting enough sleep. And I would tell you, eight out of 10 teenagers are not getting enough sleep. Most of the times, behavior problems are related to chronic sleep deprivation. The second question is, are they connecting well socially with family and friends and social skills has lagged in the new generation way more than our time we are aware of that they’ll rather bury their heads and phone rather than to make eye contact or start a conversation. And are they engaged with schools and you know, school activities and achieving their goals? Fourth question I would recommend is to ask, What hobbies and interests are they pursuing beyond screens and most importantly, are they having fun and learning when they use digital media? So digital media can be Doom, scrolling or bloom, scrolling and often parents are really worried about screen time and the new policy statement from American Academy of Pediatrics is very clear. It is not about hours spent on the screen. It’s about the quality of time on screen. Is it related to learning? And is it actually holistic? Because sometimes we see even with AI, it gives you one side of the view. So we call it echo chamber effect, especially on social media, children are being exposed to just one viewpoint or belief system, like young girls. If you see, young teenagers are so much into beauty and body image now, all this mindset is being shaped by social media. This is how Instagram, Tiktok, they work. And if you look at the meta internal research, which is now out and available online by Jonathan Hyde and the team at NYU, it basically interviewed those people who have left meta, but they were employees for very long time, and they share. They confess. Almost 10% of the girls are shown self harm related content. 10 to 20% yes, they are networked. I mean, indirectly with there are online predators contacting them. So it’s such a big problem that meta can’t solve. So we need to be prepared, and children need to be taught that there are, like two phases of technology. There’s a fine line. It can help your work productivity, but it can also Doom your career and future if you’re not careful and sleep. I would say, if parents can do one thing, the first priority would be to manage their children’s sleep. Even for young adults, children are scrolling at night. Often they say, it’s hard.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  23:51

I mean, when they get to be teenagers, the struggle is real by chance. Do you have like, maybe you can send it to me so we can put it in the show notes? Do you have, like, a link to this NYU work that you’re talking about that we could give our listeners to look at. Absolutely, I can share a link. Yeah, yeah. And I’m also going to, in the show notes, put the five questions, because you know you’re you’re talking through them, and we’re hearing them. But that way, listeners, you can go over to the show notes, and then look at the the five questions to consider, you know, for your family and and and do that. Now, how would you suggest to the parent of a teenager or a young adult they try to influence I’m hearing like what we what the goal is, what is the practical reality of trying to help your kid get the sleep that’s not going to cause World War Three to blow up in your home,

 

Dr. Sajita Setia  24:51

as you rightly mentioned at the start, Lisa, it’s about being vulnerable, and I think vulnerable. Is a strength. Everybody has different opinion, but I regard vulnerable, vulnerability as a strength. So when we conduct workshops and we model different teaching and mentoring practices, instructors, when instructors are vulnerable, they are ready to commit their own struggles, children will open up. So when instructors, for example, if I’m an instructor and I say, Yeah, I end up Doom scroll. I end up watching all binge watching Netflix all night. So I know I can never compete with technology. It’s not a test of willpower, so it’s manipulation. That’s how technology works. It’s not addiction. So first, use the right language and communication with your children. Of course, if we just start with rules, okay, your phone cannot go to your bedroom. You can’t be on your devices. It’s bedtime. They are going to defend and retaliate, and, you know, push it back. It’s normal. It’s a normal teenage behavior, even for younger children, there would be meltdowns. So maintain a connection. If your child is online gaming all the time, game with them, just do anything to spend time with them. And if they are okay, if you already have some baseline Foundation, go on walks, cook together, shop together and be prepared. You know they would push you back in the beginning, but as we were discussing, we are becoming a better version of your ourselves. Being a parent is also becoming a better version your children. Won’t stay teenagers throughout life, they will be very different as adults, they just don’t have the self control and the proper brain development to think in a mature term, especially when it comes to hot cognition. When emotions are involved, they their brain is using all their emotional centers. They can be really good at math, even problem solving. They can do it better than us, because then often emotions are not involved. So be prepared. When emotions are involved, they are going to act like toddlers, and it’s normal. Please don’t judge them. Have more compassion in the beginning. It’s just the early stage of bridging a connection, talking to them, being vulnerable, that would lay the foundation for any behavior change. Behavior change is one of the toughest thing in the world, if we can change behavior, we won’t have wars. We won’t

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  27:23

need lawyers. That’s for all ages, right? Yeah, that’s

 

Dr. Sajita Setia  27:28

for all ages. Even adults struggle, like often, within parents or partners. There are struggles in relationship just because of digital habits. They go on a date or a family time, and they are just into their phones. So phone is a distraction. Try not to call your children as addicted to screens, because those labels will say

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  27:51

were triggering, right? Oh my gosh, so true,

 

Dr. Sajita Setia  27:56

and they are not addicted. It’s like they’re being manipulated by technology. Just shows up in a way that it’s addiction. So maintain a connection, and slowly, even if you start a rule, it has to be for the whole family, so not just the kids. No, no, not just the kids. And it may sound difficult, but I guarantee you it will change your family life. It will change your relationships for good, and you would thank yourself for making such a change. Yeah, well,

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  28:26

we tell ourselves these stories, right? I could have gone to Costa Rica and told myself a story that I have to be available and the world might end if I’m not. And you know, one of my kids is on an Android, and I just when I was on the Wi Fi at our hotel, I just sent a message to the kids that were on iPhones like me, because I could on iMessage, and I just said, Hey, let your brother know that if he really, if there’s an emergency, he contacts you and you’ll get me and I’ll turn my phone on, But otherwise, I’ll talk to him in a week. And yes, my kids are adults, but you know, our listeners are parents of 15 to 25 year olds, and our teenagers can do a lot for themselves. So this has been fantastic. If people want to find out more about the research and the work you’re doing and the resources you have, how would they keep in touch?

 

Dr. Sajita Setia  29:23

I post regularly on Instagram, LinkedIn, also YouTube. I create videos for parents, and you have my website, so you can reach out directly through my website, or just connect with me through social media platforms. And I look forward to connecting, connecting with the wonderful parents and other audience, thank you.

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  29:42

Okay, we will put all of it in the show notes. Thank you for joining us on College and Career Clarity has been really great.

 

Dr. Sajita Setia  29:50

Thank you so much for having me, Lisa. It was a great pleasure. If

 

Lisa Marker-Robbins  29:59

this. This episode gave you a new lens. Do not try to overhaul your entire household in one afternoon. I know it could be tempting, right? Instead, start with one change that protects sleep, improves connection, or maybe reduces late night Doom scrolling. Dr. Sajita has shared a simple set of check in questions from her digital balance activity checklist and those, they’re worth revisiting as a family. Have a great conversation with them, because the goal is quality screen time, not just counting hours. I’ve gone ahead and added her five questions to show notes to make it easy to revisit and have that conversation at home. And if you want a practical next step that supports healthy digital use in school, internships and early career life. Download my LinkedIn guide at flourish coachingco.com forward slash LinkedIn. It helps your teen or young adult build a credible presence while protecting privacy and reputation. And you can find all of Dr. Sajita as links in our show notes, including where to follow her on LinkedIn, Instagram in YouTube. Thanks for listening to College and Career Clarity. If this episode helped you share with a friend who is also raising a young person in this challenging AI digital age. Until next time. I’m Lisa Marco-Robbins.