#243 Personal Safety: Is Your Young Person Prepared? with S. Gale Bleth Transcript

THIS IS AN AUTOMATED TRANSCRIPT… PLEASE FORGIVE THE TYPOS & GRAMMAR! xo-Lisa.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 00:54
Our young people start gaining independence long before they leave home. They’re driving, working, going out with friends, attending parties, traveling without us, and eventually, many of them are moving onto college campuses. And as exciting as that independence is, there can be part of us as parents that stay on high alert. I remember when my own daughter, she’s now 25, when she headed off to an urban college campus, there was quite a bit of crime around the outskirts of the campus, but we loved the school, and there were definitely times I was super nervous. She came through those years just fine, but having today’s conversation, I found myself thinking, Ugh, I wish I would have known this then. I absolutely would have talked through some of these strategies with her before she left for college, and probably continued to revisit them. See, keeping our young people safe isn’t about frightening them or trying to prevent their fun or their independence. We can’t follow them everywhere, nor should we. At some point, they need the skills to notice what’s happening around them, recognize when something doesn’t feel right, and make a smart decision about what to do next. That’s why we’re talking about that today with Gale Bleth. Gale’s spent 16 years working with students and campus organizations at California State University, East Bay, while partnering with university police. She also spent 16 years as a crime prevention specialist with Hayward Police Department, and has been a certified R.A.D. Systems self-defense instructor since 2000. Gale introduces us to her AWARE method for situational awareness, and explains why much of your kid’s personal safety happens before they would ever need to physically defend themselves. We’ll talk about the distractions that reduce their awareness of their surroundings, what to do when something doesn’t feel right—we all have that spidey sense—and when to get out of a situation early. This isn’t about raising fearful young people; it’s about raising young people who can enjoy greater independence while also taking greater responsibility for themselves. I’m Lisa Marker Robbins, and I want to welcome you to College and Career Clarity, a Flourish Coaching production. Let’s dive right in to another great conversation. Gail, welcome to the show!

S. Gale Bleth 03:08
Thank you for having me, Lisa.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 03:10
Oh, I’m excited to talk about this. This is not our typical episode, but we wanted to have you on because this—I’m going to just say, as a mom who sent kids to college campuses, we have boys and girls in our family, I just was like, This is such an important topic. We need to get her on here because our parents need to hear this, our young people need to hear this. And so we’re going to talk about safety. Yes, for sure. We had a We had an episode back in February that was about digital safety, but this is about physical safety, right?

S. Gale Bleth 03:43
Exactly, yes. Yes. So

Lisa Marker-Robbins 03:45
tell us a little bit about your background. I mean, a lot of our listeners have a kid on a college campus, or they’re going to be sending them to a college campus, and that can feel a little nerve-wracking to us as parents. I know, it’s like: do you keep your phone on? Do you put it in sleep mode at night? Like, are they going to be safe? Right. And so you have a lot of experience on college campuses that this was born out of. Tell us, tell us about how you got here to come up with a physical safety method.

S. Gale Bleth 04:14
Yeah. So, I worked for the California State University, East Bay for 16 years, and I actually was a student there, too. So, Oh, wow. but my time as a part-time and then I became full-time when I graduated, but I worked with student organizations. So, a lot of these students were a little bit younger than me because they just got there, they were 18 years old, and they would show up for work because we had student assistants. And sometimes there were some that had been a victim of crime, whether they got their backpack stolen, or their purse was stolen, their wallet was stolen, their laptop was stolen. Maybe at the time they don’t think they had laptops, but expensive electronics that they had. So. Yeah. and then, of course, I had a couple who were didn’t want to talk about it, victim of date rape, all of that. And so, while I was working at the university, I also partnered with the university police department, and they actually had a self-defense class that they offered. So, of course, I would sign up to take it, I would sign up to take it, I never would show up. It’s free. So a lot of times when people want to say, Hey, you know, exactly. it’s free, I’m going to sign up. But then when the time comes, it sounded good at the time, but I’m too busy, it’s a 12-hour course. So, you got to put in the time if you want to learn self-defense.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 05:38
Probably the people that were going to that course were the ones who had been the victims, so they were reactive instead of proactive. Right. Exactly,

S. Gale Bleth 05:46
and there were some. So, when I partnered up with the university police department, they asked me if I wanted to be an instructor without taking the class. So, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into. So, they flew me away to San Diego, a 40-hour class to be an instructor, and This

Lisa Marker-Robbins 06:06
sounds like baptism by fire, like go! Oh,

S. Gale Bleth 06:07
my gosh, it was! And not only in in this 12-hour course that we teach the students, the very last 2 to 3 hours is simulation. So, you dress up in a suit and you fight an assailant, and you get three scenarios. Like one, you’re at the ATM, maybe you’re doing your dishes, or you’re putting groceries in your car, but you get grabbed from the back and you’ve got to use what you learned in the first 10 hours of the class on how to escape, what could you can use. So, I learned that, and I thought, Wow, this was great. So, I couldn’t wait to teach it. So, the class that we would teach, it’s only twice a year, and we only get 25, 30 maybe per class. So, if I think if you think about it, it’s maybe 50 to 60 people per year that we’re impacting, but we could do so much more. Yeah. So, I said, You know what? Let’s do a teaser class. Let Let’s Let’s put together this teaser class. I did it myself. Put in an 18 I’m sorry, it’s a 90-minute presentation, and it was just classroom style. So, you sit and I talk about all of the things that’s in my book Yeah. cuz that’s what I did. I started saying, Let’s just do the 90-minute personal safety. So, I’ve been I did that for years. I’ve been an instructor since the year 2000. It’s been 22 years Well, I have a question for

Lisa Marker-Robbins 07:31
you. So, Yeah. my first one to go to college went in 2016, and and the last one went to college in 2020. So everybody’s out now. We’re empty nesters over here. But I’m wondering if you started all the way back in 2000, like when I’m having babies, do you feel like things about like teen safety, college student safety, out on college campuses, do you feel like kids are more at risk now, or are they the same level of risk that they had back when you started this work, you know, 25 years ago?

S. Gale Bleth 08:11
Definitely, there’s more risks now. Mm. Cell phones are a big, big component of safety, cuz they’re on their phone. I I see it all the time walking through the parking lot, on their phone, walking, and not paying attention to their surroundings. And and that’s not just teenagers. I mean I seen I seen a 60-year-old gentleman do that just the other day in a parking lot. I mean, I’m

Lisa Marker-Robbins 08:35
going to say, like I’m sitting here listening to you going like, Guilty.

S. Gale Bleth 08:39
Yeah, and I used to be that way, but now I I stop. Like I have to practice what I preach, and I do. So I pull I I If I If my phone goes off, I’m going to wait until I get to the curb from the parking lot to look at my phone, because it’s not that important.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 08:57
So this thing in our hands that we’re all walking around with—mine’s on airplane mode right now since we’re recording—has cre- has increased the risk. Is that risk of somebody attacking you and taking advantage of you, or is it more just like, I’m going to walk into something if I have it in my hand? Safe. Well,

S. Gale Bleth 09:15
both, yeah. Definitely, you’re not aware of your surroundings, so victims are in that white/yellow code, and I’ll talk about the color code of awareness. They’re unaware. They’re just unaware of what’s going on around them, and they they could become a victim because they’re not paying attention. Of like you could be on your phone and somebody can grab your purse and run. So that’s not paying attention to what’s going on around you. But another thing, it’s not just walking and being on your phone, but it’s also internet, dating, social media, all of that. You’re throwing all your information out there and not realizing that there are predators out there watching and seeing where you’re going and what you’re doing. You can have a stalker out there. You can have somebody that’s waiting for you to leave your home if your family’s on vacation. They could be your friend, but sometimes you just don’t know who your friends are.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 10:11
They could be going to your house. Do you feel like in your experience of this, is there is there more crime or victimization by somebody who’s a known person to you, or by strangers?

S. Gale Bleth 10:24
Both. So

Lisa Marker-Robbins 10:25
Kind of equal?

S. Gale Bleth 10:26
It it can be equal, but more so, yeah, I I would say so. Sometimes a lot of people, now that social media’s it’s a little bit more, like you’re controlling it. You can control who sees you and who doesn’t see you or who can find you. But some people don’t. Yeah. You know, like I can I can go on a friend’s website or her or maybe make She’s already my friend on on social media, so I can’t go on the site, on her site, to see. But if I was if I made another social media account and looked, she didn’t block it for outside people to see. Right,

Lisa Marker-Robbins 11:05
the the I I actually as a college major and career coach, I actually say all the time like, lot I’m thinking about getting into college, internships, employment. I’m like, Lock it down, people. Right. And I And I’m honestly never really thinking through it with the the same lens that you’re speaking of right now as more of a safety. I’m like, you’re going to mess yourself up on opportunities, and it’s not just what you’re putting out there. It’s guilt by association sometimes if you’re tagged in Yeah. Right. things like that. Exactly. Public posting, Yeah. you know, stuff like that. So, I’m like, don’t put your future at risk as far as employment, and you’re like, Oh no, this is about safety, even before that. Right. So, what are You said that there’s like this these three levels of awareness. Is that what you said? Yeah. Or like

S. Gale Bleth 11:56
There’s five. The color code of awareness. There’s five of them.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 11:59
Okay. Color code of awareness. Okay, walk us through this color code because I think we as parents want to know it and so we can Yeah. Okay. be talking I’m a big one about we talk about like what conversations do you need to be having at home. Yes. So, we’re Let’s educate us so we can have these conversations, cuz even though my kids are, you know, out in the wild and they’re adults, they still They go out downtown with their friends. They They can. Oh, yeah. Yeah, especially in the 20s. This book is for

S. Gale Bleth 12:25
everybody. Yeah, it is really for everybody. My aunt actually read the book, and she’s in her 80s. And she said, when she goes to the grocery store, she’s going to be more aware of not being on her phone and using the alert the the alert method, which, I mean I’m sorry, the aware method, cuz we’ll talk about that, too. But let’s talk about this color code of awareness. Yeah. So, Jeff Cooper, he actually coined the phrase the color code of awareness, and he talks about that everybody in us Like everybody, like you, me, everyone else, we have our own color code in our in ourselves. So, usually it’s going to be yellow, orange, or red, but there’s also white and there’s also black. And what I did was, on my book, you can tell I put these color codes in there, and just so that you can see, and as you’re reading the book, you’re going to go, Oh, yeah, that’s why Gail put that in in her the cover of the book, because you can tell. Correct.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 13:24
Yeah.

S. Gale Bleth 13:25
So, white puts you in a like unaware. You don’t want to know anything about safety. You just don’t care to learn. You’re just, Yeah, you know, I’m fine. I’ll be okay. Is that usually

Lisa Marker-Robbins 13:39
unintentional, do you think?

S. Gale Bleth 13:41
Oh, yeah, no. Well, I think it’s more intentional. People just don’t want to know, because it scares them. If I don’t

Lisa Marker-Robbins 13:47
know, if I don’t talk about it, it doesn’t exist.

S. Gale Bleth 13:49
Right. Yeah. Exactly. Or, I don’t want to know because I’m too afraid to know what could possibly happen to me. So, that’s when you’re in your white. In yellow, yellow color code is where you and I are in right now, and all of your listeners. They’re in a safe environment, they’re most likely probably indoors, or maybe driving, they’re in a safe environment, and that’s chapter two where you should always stay in your yellow. Like you always want to stay in your yellow. But what if we hear this loud bang or some explosion out of the ordinary? You you hear it outside your window, I hear it outside my window. Right. Then we’ll get put into the orange color code, where we are more whoa, heightened a little bit, like, Oh shoot, what is going on?

Lisa Marker-Robbins 14:35
So, is this color code, are you referring to like something that we’re feeling, sensing in our body?

S. Gale Bleth 14:39
Yes. Yes. It’s the, yes, it’s a sensation that you get because your heart rate goes up a little bit, and then you’re like, Whoa, what was that? Okay, I got to go investigate. So, you go outside, you’re looking out your window, and you see your neighbor’s car smoking. You know, okay, you know, so poor guy, his car engine blew up. Okay. You were in your orange color code. Now you’re going to sit back down. Now you’re back in your yellow. You’re good. But if you look outside and you see people running for their lives, literally running for their lives, now you’re in your red. And when you’re in your red, you are either fighting for your life or you’re running for your life, but now you are in imminent danger. Like oh shoot, like I need to figure out what to do. Then there’s people who are in their black. So the black color code is where you’re frozen, that you don’t know what to do because you didn’t prepare yourself to learn what to do in situations where you’re going to be in your red. Like for We talk a

Lisa Marker-Robbins 15:43
lot about even like with the work that we do in supporting career outcomes, these young people, people in general, but I’m talking specifically with this age group, fight, flight, or freeze. Yes. And sometimes it’s just because they’re terrified of talking to a stranger about something, you know, putting themselves out there, which isn’t a real risk, it is a perceived risk to them, Exactly. and you’re dealing with real risks.

S. Gale Bleth 16:13
Yes, these are These are risks, so we’ll talk about the AWARE Method, too, which is 90% of your safety. So, let me I’ll talk about AWARE right now if you’d like me to. So, AWARE, Yeah. as I was writing this book, I kept using the word aware, aware, aware, and I thought, you know, Yeah, be aware. Yeah. Yeah, be aware of your surroundings, and and, and so I thought, okay, how about this: I’m going to make it into an acronym. So I decided that it was escape is E, right? So, Yeah. when I was teaching self-defense, really what you want to do is you want to use the methods that were given to you, the options to escape a situation, because if you don’t escape the situation, you could be in your 10%.

Speaker 1 17:03
Yeah.

S. Gale Bleth 17:03
So 90% of your safety is knowing what the AWARE Method is. So what you’re going to do is you’re going to be alerted. So wherever you go, like if you’re you and your kids want to go to the mall, you’re alerted that you’re going to the mall, so that’s your first alert. Second, you’re going to watch. So once you get there, you’re going to make sure everything’s good, but you’re not going to be paranoid. Like, I don’t want anyone to read this book feeling that now they’re paranoid. If you understand to just be aware, then you don’t need to be paranoid, because you’re going to know what to do if something happens.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 17:40
I’m really glad you said that, because I could see parents saying like, Well, we want kids, I hear all the time, we want kids to be kids, and we want them to enjoy things, and, yes, bad things happen, and we want to protect them, and that they might even feel like they’re disrupting that peace to have this conversation. So,

S. Gale Bleth 18:00
Interesting.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 18:01
I I see that a lot. I actually just had a podcast guest on earlier today that we were recording, and I’m not sure what I won’t say what cuz when this I don’t know when we’re dropping these, but we were talking about parents being overprotective and wanting to protect their kids from feeling bad, and so I liked that you just said, Hey, just because you’re watching, you should be peaceful in that you’re watching, like, and feel secure in that and go about your time and enjoy yourself, right?

S. Gale Bleth 18:30
Exactly. Exactly. One of the things I also say is, just make good choices. If you can just make good choices, you’re good. You’re good. Like,

Lisa Marker-Robbins 18:41
How do we as parents convince our our teenagers and our college students without a frontal lobe of what a good choice is? I think that’s one of the challenges, right?

S. Gale Bleth 18:52
That is true. A lot of times, though, like when my son was younger and I put a lot of the safety stuff that I did for my son in the book, and whenever he would go out, I I would always say, Just make good choices. You know what’s wrong and what’s not right. Probably like just planting

Lisa Marker-Robbins 19:11
the seed.

S. Gale Bleth 19:12
Yeah, you plant the seed, and if you know you’re going to a bad area My son was a skateboarder. He loved to go skateboarding, so sometimes they would go to this part of town that I I Well, I was in law enforcement, too, so after being in in the university for 16 years, I went and did crime prevention for 16 years, and there was a a a a skate park in Hayward where I worked that had always had somebody getting robbed, skateboard being stolen. But you’re like, This is not the neighborhood

Lisa Marker-Robbins 19:47
that or the the the skate park I want to say like, Hey, here’s a good idea. Go to the skate park, right?

S. Gale Bleth 19:52
I know. And I was like, What are you doing there? I said, I know that place. So, but he said, Look, I I’m going to be with like six, seven of us. I go, Do me a favor. Just just make good choices. Like make good choices. So so they did get robbed, but it wasn’t there. It was another place in Oakland that they went to, and he just made sure that he stayed out of the way. They you know, there’s just a bunch of punk kids and took their wallets and money or whatever. But but that you just got to talk to your kids and just let them know. Let them be who they are, but they should know better what right from wrong and to make those good choices.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 20:28
Right. Okay, so alert,

S. Gale Bleth 20:31
Oh yeah, so watch So now you’re alerted, so you’re you’re alerted you’re going. You’re watching, making sure that you’re not paranoid. Then you’re going to assess. So if you see something, a crowd of people, something that just doesn’t feel right, you’re going to assess what that is. Like it Okay, like okay, there could be a fight. Let you’re at the mall. Could be a two guys, bunch of people fighting. Well, you’re going to assess your while you’re assessing it, then you’re going to respond to your assessment. Like this doesn’t look like a very good place that we should be. Then you’re going to decide whether you should escape or not.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 21:07
Okay.

S. Gale Bleth 21:07
So, that’s the AWARE method.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 21:09
Okay, I love that. So, teaching our kids as they’re We don’t want

Speaker 1 21:14
to

Lisa Marker-Robbins 21:14
stop them Right. from going out and living life, but

S. Gale Bleth 21:19
Yeah.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 21:20
talking through You know, I even as I’m thinking about this, I’m going like, Oh, maybe talking through exact situations. Right?

Speaker 2 21:27
Yeah. Yeah. If

Lisa Marker-Robbins 21:28
you said like 90% of it is applying the AWARE, what is the other 10% then?

S. Gale Bleth 21:35
The other 10% is where you are in your red. So you are defending yourself. So, let me give you a a quick story about the 90% first, because it’s a story about Lily, and she’s in chapter one, and Lily is going to college for the first time, and she wanted to get good grades, so she was invited to a party, and when she got to the party, then she was roofied, and then she she was she was raped. And when she got back to her dorm room, she did not know what happened the night before. So, if you use the AWARE method, let’s say if Lily had read the book, she would have said, Okay, I’m going to a frat party. It’s going to be at a frat house. So she’s alerted. What goes on there? Well, alcohol, possibly drugs, and a lot of drinking, a lot of binge drinking, and just just rowdy kids.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 22:32
Right.

S. Gale Bleth 22:33
And if if Okay, so Lily came from a small town and she she’s not used to going to parties. She didn’t go to parties when she was in high school, so this was her first real party. Then, so she was alerted that she’s going. Then she was watching. Somebody walked up to her and said, Hey, here. Handed her a Solo cup. And if So now that she’s watching, she didn’t see the young man make it or it was from the keg. Right,

Lisa Marker-Robbins 23:03
what was going into it,

S. Gale Bleth 23:04
yeah. Yeah, so now she’s assessing like there could be something in this drink. So I’m going to be polite. And she’s responding to that assessment, and she says, I’m— She’s going to say, I’m sorry. I don’t drink beer. I’m going to grab me a bottled water. So she can open it herself, keep it to herself, and then walk around. And then she can decide if the party is too rowdy. She can decide whether she needed to escape or not. So that’s that’s the AWARE method.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 23:33
Well, and I think too, like escape doesn’t have to look like dramatic, right?

S. Gale Bleth 23:37
Right, right. No. You know, she’s just

Lisa Marker-Robbins 23:38
quietly leaving. Right.

S. Gale Bleth 23:40
Yeah, just you’re assessing it in your mind, and you’re nonchalantly just kind of, you know, you’re enjoying yourself, and you’re smiling, and you’re saying hi to people, but at the same time, you’re going to make sure nobody spikes your drink.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 23:53
Right.

S. Gale Bleth 23:53
Because, and it has happened. It happens everywhere.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 23:57
Absolutely. So, What advice do you have for like our our parents, our listeners, whether they have a high schooler or a somebody going off to a college campus, or maybe moving out of their home for the first time independently? What is the best way that we can start, cuz these kids do think they’re invincible and let’s be honest, they don’t fully have a frontal lobe

S. Gale Bleth 24:20
Yeah.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 24:20
operating yet, it’s not all on track yet. Right.

S. Gale Bleth 24:23
Right, not yet. Not until they’re like 25, 30, you know, when their brain is fully developed.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 24:26
Exactly. And and you and I know, we’ve raised some of these, so it actually does happen. You go like, Ah, and there we are. They Yeah. It’s fully developed now. So, what what advice do you have for us? Like the the method is fantastic, how do we start to instill this in our kids? What’s what’s the best way?

S. Gale Bleth 24:46
Well, talking to them if they’re willing to listen is one. At my first book signing, somebody said, How do I get my 17- year-old and my 19-year-old to read your book? And and somebody said, Put a $100 bill on on the back of it, and see if they say, Thank you for the $100 bill. Because if they don’t, it’s going to be stuck back there, and they’re never going to read it. But one of my suggestions, because they were local, they were my friends locally, I suggested, Hey, if you want me to just come in and talk to the group, I would love to do that. A lot of times, the these this age group resonates more from somebody talking to them and telling stories. Because they are intrigued by stories, and that’s what I did through the 26 years that I’ve been teaching, is And and then my stories got better and better because I was experiencing and learning more about what people did. Yeah. More people, and and more incidents that’s happened, and crime that’s happened, and And I just I couldn’t stop talking about stories. So, and and that’s where they will do it. Well, how about

Lisa Marker-Robbins 25:55
even to our own personal stories? It’s so funny. Like, as you’re talking through this AWARE method, I was thinking about a friend of mine. She was traveling out of town, and had gotten out to put gas in her car. And on her car, the gas is on the passenger side.

Speaker 3 26:10
Uh-huh.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 26:11
And she’s pumping her gas, not thinking a thing of it. She’s 6 hours from home, and somebody jumps in her car, takes off while she’s sitting there pumping gas. And Oh my god. Yeah, like the car ends up getting totaled. It was a terrible situation. But her her purse was in there. Her cell phone was in there.

S. Gale Bleth 26:34
Oh my god.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 26:35
All these things. And so, Right. and and it happened so fast. And what’s happened now for me, like I had an 8-hour drive back by myself, you know, 57-year-old woman, and that story sticks with me to this day. So now, you know, unless it’s at my neighborhood Kroger that I’m gassing up. Yeah. If I’m out and about, I’ve got my purse on me, my keys and my phone in my purse. I get out to pump gas, I lock my doors. Lock the door. But it was because of somebody else’s story.

Speaker 4 27:07
Yep.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 27:07
That I’ve taken a different approach to that.

S. Gale Bleth 27:09
Right.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 27:10
And then, you know, maybe sharing that story with my kids, or maybe when I’m getting out of my car—and I haven’t done this, but I’m like, this would be a good one if I’m out with my kids—to say like, you know, this is how I do gas because let me tell you about Mrs. Speer and what happened to her one time.

S. Gale Bleth 27:26
Yes. Yeah. Right. You tell them stories like, Wow, I got to tell you something. So-and-so just did this.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 27:34
Yeah.

S. Gale Bleth 27:34
And this is what happened. But if they knew the AWARE method, then they would have first been this, done this, and this and this and this. Right. And maybe your kids, or the the the the listeners and their children might resonate to that.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 27:47
Yeah.

S. Gale Bleth 27:48
Because putting a book out on the coffee table might help, but it’s It is. It It’s really tough to get kids to read books or just read anything about I mean, it’s hard enough that they have to be in school and reading books, and Yeah. but it’s it’s It’s really tough and I get it. Well, it sounds

Lisa Marker-Robbins 28:07
like what we need to do

Lisa Marker-Robbins 28:09
But Dr. Sue sounds better. is the parents need to read your book, Yes. accumulate the stories, and talk through the AWARE method. So if they If they want to stay in touch or they want to We’ll put the link to the book in the show notes for sure. I know it’s on Amazon. Yes. Yes. And then how else do they keep in touch with you? What What’s the best way?

S. Gale Bleth 28:28
Just through my website.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 28:30
Okay.

S. Gale Bleth 28:30
It’s stay-aware.com. Okay, stay-aware.com. We’ll

Lisa Marker-Robbins 28:33
also put it in the show notes.

S. Gale Bleth 28:37
Yes. Yes. And also, what I I wanted to mention what you you had said about the 10%,

Lisa Marker-Robbins 28:45
Yeah.

S. Gale Bleth 28:45
because we’ve already talked about the the Color Code of Awareness, that’s,

Lisa Marker-Robbins 28:49
Right.

S. Gale Bleth 28:50
pretty much your like the the the staying in your yellow is definitely your 90%. But now that you have to go into You get into a situation where you’ve used everything that you could. You You You know, you stayed alert, you watched, you assessed, you responded, and you escaped, but then something else happened to where you really can’t escape. What do you do? Yeah, you can’t

Lisa Marker-Robbins 29:15
always control that.

S. Gale Bleth 29:16
So, Right. And sometimes it is, there’s there’s a lot of incidents out there that talk about in the book where you you can’t, but what you can do is you have personal weapons on you. And so what I have it in the book is your personal weapons, cuz sometimes you can get a hold of a like a a water bottle. You know, if you had a water bottle, you can like smack someone over the head with it. Right. Yeah. But but if you don’t have that, then you still have your personal weapons. And so from the top down, like it’s your head and your your fists, your elbows, your knees, and then like your foot. So those are the things that you could use to fight off an assailant. So

Lisa Marker-Robbins 29:55
it’s really learning how Because I’m like, well yeah, I’ve got all that, but it’s really they need they need your method or a class, a personal safety class Yes. Right. Right. Yes. The class. so they can actually learn how to use it.

S. Gale Bleth 30:06
Exactly. It’s in the book. A little bit of that is in the book. But also sometimes you can say, Okay, now I’ve got my personal weapons. What do I do? Yeah. Well, you got to make sure that you can identify your assailant’s vulnerable locations. So, you know, you don’t want to take a water bottle and smack them in the head. Is that going to do anything? Yeah. Probably not, but you can use your personal weapons, do a spear, or extended knuckle, or a or extended knuckle, the palm strike, whatever it is, to strike in vulnerable locations. You’ve got the nose, the eyes, the torso, the groin, especially the knee strike to the groin. So, all of that is actually in there. But also, what I do is there there The So, I became a self-defense instructor through a program called R.A.D. Systems, R-A-D, which is Rape Aggression Defense. Okay. And they’re in all 50 states, but they’re mostly in all the colleges and universities. But also, there are independent instructors, like my myself, I’m an independent instructor. So, if you go to the Rad R.A.D. Systems site, then you can take the full 12-hour class.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 31:19
You can find Okay. Oh, they’ve Okay. Great. You can find one near you. It’s so

S. Gale Bleth 31:22
fun. Where you learn know how to use your elbows, and then strike properly, you know. It’s It’s really a lot of fun. Yeah. I actually as I’m sitting

Lisa Marker-Robbins 31:29
here thinking like It empowers people. it could be fun to go do with our girls.

S. Gale Bleth 31:33
Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. I’m sure in Chicago, you said?

Lisa Marker-Robbins 31:38
I’m Cincinnati.

S. Gale Bleth 31:39
I’m sorry. Yeah. In Cinci- There’s got to be one there somewhere. That’s

Lisa Marker-Robbins 31:42
okay. Yeah. I mean, in a major metropolitan area, for sure. Yeah. Well, Gail, thank you for sharing your wisdom and your insights. I Parents, got to get this book. We were talking offline beforehand, and I know that there are so many good things that we as parents can take action on to plant those seeds to make sure we’re keeping our kiddos safe.

S. Gale Bleth 32:02
Yes, for sure. Yeah.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 32:05
Thank you, Gail.

S. Gale Bleth 32:06
Well, thank you so much, Lisa, for having me. It’s been fun.

Lisa Marker-Robbins 32:15
I hope you take away from this conversation that talking about safety doesn’t mean teaching your young person to be afraid. The more prepared they are to notice what’s happening around them, assess the situation, and know what they can do next, the more confidently they can handle the independence we ultimately want for them. So here’s what I would do next as you head into this new school year: choose one ordinary situation your young person is likely to encounter. Maybe they’re driving somewhere with friends, going to a party, working a late shift and having to head home in the dark, walking through a parking lot, attending an event, heading to a college campus visit at night. Don’t give them a lecture; that never works. Talk it through together. If you’ve been listening for a while, you know I believe family conversations make an enormous difference. So you don’t have to cover every imaginable bad thing that could happen. The goal is to start developing the habit of awareness before they actually need it. If you want to learn more about Gail’s AWARE Method or her book Leaving the Nest, we’ll put those links in the show notes. As our young people gain independence, we can’t eliminate every risk they’ll face, but we can help prepare them to recognize risk, make thoughtful choices, and increasingly take responsibility for themselves. That’s what raising an adult is. Okay, friends, I will see you next week.